The Face Behind The Blog--More Stuff About Me

I've been given a gentle nudge by Phil Gerbyshak to share the "other side of me."

The Face Behind The Blog meme was started by David Airey, who urged bloggers to show a personal side with photographs. Photographs allow the reader to get to know the blog author in a new light.

So the other day, while browsing through several photographs on the computer, my son stopped me at the photo below:


"Oh neat, Mom!" my son exclaimed. "Is that one of those photos where your head is on someone else's body?"

After the stabbing pain in my heart subsided, I informed my firstborn that yes, indeed, that was his mom's body twenty years ago. His eyes grew wide.

So while we're examining the past, the photo below shows me on top of my first pyramid, rounding a bend in the lake and hanging on for dear life:


That's me on the upper left and my friend Jenny Oehl on the right. Bobby Kruso and Brent Greenwood are on the bottom left-- but I can't remember who the guy on the right is. I'm sure his aching back has recovered.

Fast forward many years and many pounds later:


I'm with my brother Dennis and my father. They just finished chopping down three pine trees and I'm hauling them off to a field on the four-wheeler.

Now that I'm older, I'm usually found behind the wheel of the boat, dragging my kids around the lake. Here's my youngest son on the tube, the other two have been flung off after hitting a wave.


When I'm not blogging here, I'm usually meeting families at my early intervention job or at my staff writing job for an internet company. Every once in a while, I go out and do presentations for Hands & Voices (seen here with Jane Holtz, another mom and IL Hands & Voices board member):


I'm married to a great guy (most of the time!) and I have three kids who occasionally pick up after themselves. I dream of having a chef, a maid and a personal shopper to take over the stuff I hate to do.

Heck, what I need is a wife of my own!

This Is What Happens When You Don't Brush Your Teeth

Wordless Wednesday-- need I say more?

Hawaii--On My List of Places to Visit

My sister-in-law has her 50th birthday all planned out:

She's heading to Hawaii.

So I've found a neat website where one can rent out places on Hawaii: Hawaii Beachfront Cottages. One three bedroom home can be rented for $200 per night. Keep in mind that some of the homes require a 30-day rental. Hawaii certainly isn't cheap, but heck, for the sunset below-- I'd stay 30 days myself!


Check out this four-bedroom house that sleeps eight: Big Island House--at $1,200 per night--four couples could share a vacation together with memories to last a lifetime.

The same site even has a blog about Hawaii: Hawaiian Beach Rental Blog.
Now all I have to do is write a couple of bestsellers so I can join my sis-in-law next year!

Another Deaf Author Discovered--Connie Briscoe

A couple of weeks ago, during a search for authors who are deaf or hard of hearing, I stumbled upon Connie Briscoe. In the mid 1990's, Connie rocketed to the bestseller list with her first novel, Sisters and Lovers. Connie is deaf and the former editor of the American Annals of the Deaf.

You can read more about Connie in a Gallaudet interview and in Jamie Burke's interview.

Connie's newest book is Jewels, a collection of fifty stories about African American women over the age of fifty. Connie includes her own personal story in this book. I plan to order this photographic book using the gift certificates that I've earned from My Points--Earn Rewards at MyPoints.
.

Yesterday, I headed over the library and found two of her books: P. G. County and Can't Get Enough.

I'm on chapter three of P.G. County and fascinated by the way Connie introduces characters. I have a feeling I'm going to like her books. On page seven, they've already gotten into some hot, steamy action.

I'm off to read more.

Ten Things About Me--Aren't You Thrilled?

I've been tagged by Christy at Christy's Coffee Break to share "Ten Interesting Things About Me."

So here goes:

1) My favorite color is purple. Oddly enough, I don't have much purple in my house, but my college roommate and I once won a decorating contest for the "Best Dorm Room." It was covered in purple, of course.

2) I love books. I belong to BookHands, a bookclub where everyone is deaf. We converse using sign language.

3) Toxic people drive me nuts. I'm on a mission to eliminate the toxic people in my life. Life is too short for people who have a negative view of life.

4) I once surprised my husband by driving off with a friend's motorcycle. He had no clue that I knew how to ride one. A special thanks goes to Tim Brown, who taught me to ride his dirt bike one summer.

5) Speaking of fast things, I'm on a mission to get a jet ski by next summer. It's a harmless way to handle a mid-life crisis. Hmm... should I start a "Jet Ski For Karen" fund?

6) I love steak. More specifically, I love steak from Outback. Nothing puts a smile on my face quicker than a gift card from Outback. The hubby knows just how to score on Mother's Day, Christmas and my birthday.

7) I'm stone deaf when my hearing aids come out. Don't bother arguing with me--I have a magical "off" switch on my hearing aids.

8) My ultimate favorite organization is Hands & Voices. I've met a lot of neat people there.

9) I hate housework. My mom loves it. She is so disappointed that the "clean" gene somehow skipped me. Fortunately, when my mom visits, the fridge gets cleaned out, the cabinets get wiped down and the blinds get vacuumed. I'm trying to convince my mom to visit more often.

10) Enough about me-- tell me something about YOU. You're next!

Deaf Swimmer Makes a Splash

Will Landgren is in the pool for two hours each day, swimming laps and practicing his turns six days a week. In August, Will be competing in the World Deaf Swimming Championships in Taiwan.

"Baseball is my favorite sport," says Will, "But swimming is a close second."

During the summer, Will has practice each day, two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening.

Will is profoundly deaf and cannot hear the starting gun. "I use a light strobe," Will explains. "I have an interpreter at practice so I can talk to my teammates and find out what the coach is saying. Sometimes I talk to the other swimmers myself with my voice."

Each swimmer has to raise funds for the trip to Taiwan. To support Will at the competition, his local team has set up an online fundraiser to help Will gather the six thousand dollars he will need to participate. To donate funds for Will, visit: Palatine Park District Tigersharks Swim Team.

My Final Class and a Ripple In The Pond

On a perfectly calm night, you can toss a stone into Christie Lake and watch the ripples build up. One ripple causes the next ripple, which sets the motion for yet another one...

Tonight will mark my final "Conversational Sign Language" class at Joliet Junior College. I have been teaching at JJC since the early 90's and now I'm passing the baton on to Chris Laskowski, a physical education teacher who is deaf.

I've had my share of memorable students over the years. The youngest student was three years old and the oldest was 82. One student had suffered a stroke and was learning to communicate again. Several couples have taken the class to communicate with each other after losing their hearing. I have had classes as large as sixty students and some as small as six. I've had two students who have taken my class two times in a row and they've gone on to take the next level class two times as well.

Families with deaf and hard of hearing children frequently take my class and often bring the grandparents and sometimes the kids. One mom of a deaf child went on to become an interpreter. She once interpreted for me at a meeting at a local intervention agency. This mom also teaches sign classes at her local park district. Another student went on to graduate from Columbia College and now works as a full-time freelance interpreter. I recently had the honor of having her interpret for me during a meeting downtown.

I've also ran into former students in many different places. Several times I have gone into restaurants and discovered that the server has taken a class. I've found students at the post office, conferences and bookstores. It is difficult to remember all of the students after years of teaching but it's always special to come across them years down the road.

Back in the early 90's, I hosted a "Silent Day" in my hometown at a local church. I had forgotten all about that day until I received a phone call from Shirley Armstrong, one of the ladies who attended that event. She invited me to a breakfast as a thank you for the teaching I had done in my community years ago.

On Saturday, I had the honor and pleasure of having breakfast with a group of women from the Jubilee Baptist Church. Shirley in the picture on the far left) introduced me to the ladies from the church who continued to study American Sign Language year after year.

It's amazing how a ripple in the pond can continue many years later.

Psst, Come Here--Wanna See My Curtains?

About three years ago, we moved down the street to a larger house. For three years, our living room remained decorated with flat white paint and the builder's thirteen dollar, gold-plated light arrangements.

I am not known for my decorating skills, but I do have a knack for accepting other people's stuff--which is how my sis-in-law's curtains ended up decorating the family room windows, my aunt's lamp on a table and my mother in-law's kitchen table ended up in the dining room.

So one day, the hubby and I looked at each other and had the same thought--let's paint the living room. We were avoiding it for a long time because of the soaring ceilings. When inspiration hits, we roll with it. Our problem is, we often run out of inspiration in the middle of a home job and leave things halfway done.

Or we run out of money.

But this time, we got the job done and sat back to admire the soft yellow walls. We admired the new lights that we put up over the hand-me-down table.

Yet, the room still looked bare and unfinished. We knew we needed curtains, so we set out to find some. Due to the high ceilings, we quickly learned that we would have to either make them or have them custom made.

Either way, it wasn't going to be cheap.

One day, I was at my neighbor's house picking up the youngest kiddo and I noticed that she had some nice white curtains hanging up. We have the same soaring ceilings. "Nice curtains," I commented. "Where did you get them?"

"Oh, those are tablecloths!" she replied. "From Linens and Things!"

I was flabbergasted.

So I ran over to Linens and Things and found a beautiful gold color tablecloth in the perfect length.

For eighteen bucks each!

SOBCon-- A Learning Experience

My eyes have recovered.

After seven hours of absorbing information second-hand from two interpreters, I have recovered from the SOBCon that was held in Rosemont on Saturday.

When I first arrived, I was greeted by Phil Gerbyshak, the "Relationship Geek." I had just discovered his blog a few days before the event but I recognized him after a few seconds and confirmed it with a glance at his name tag. Phil has an exuberant personality and he urges his readers to "Make it Great!" Phil spoke later on about the importance of being authentic and being yourself in your blog.

I met Liz Strauss in front of the registration desk and thanked her for providing the interpreters for the event. It was wonderful to meet her in person after reading her blog and learning from it for the last few weeks. Just as I settled in my seat, Terry Starbucker and Wendy Piersall came bounding up and offered big hugs. Phil, Liz, Terry and Wendy-- what a nice welcome to receive!

I really enjoyed the small group discussion but I found myself suddenly shy and quiet. A couple of times I wanted to throw in suggestions but I couldn't make myself speak up. Anyone who knows me usually can find me yakking away, so I left the conference feeling like I needed another day to get to know everyone. Perhaps if I had been able to attend on Friday night, I might have felt more comfortable at speaking out.

I learned a few things about blogging at this conference and I'm making my way through the blogs from the list of attendees. Terry Starbucker was the perfect MC and his winning personality (not to mention his singing, which the interpreters said was pretty good!) added a special touch to the day.

To top it off, the lunch was absolutely delicious!

An IEP Meeting Ends Well

Back in March, we had an IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting with our school district that did not end well. The hubby and I had requested a change of schools for our son David. David is deaf and attends our local school with a sign language interpreter. We wanted to send him to Hinsdale South, a school that has nearly 70 deaf students. You can read about the previous meeting here.

After that disappointing meeting, we contacted a few lawyers and Equip for Equality. Leeanne Seaver, the director of Hands & Voices reminded me to get everything in writing and hand-deliver a letter to the IEP team. I sat down to write a three-page letter and delivered it to the team and included the superintendent and principal. I followed up with a phone call and I reminded everyone of the outcome that we desired.

So today, we had David's placement meeting and it went rather well. Beth (the mom of the 12 pound baby) attended as our advocate. Only one teacher voiced a bit of opposition this time but we were able to work through that. This teacher had children of her own in special education and was a big supporter of inclusion. We were fortunate that a social worker with a background in deaf education spoke in support as well as David's itinerant teacher. We ended up with the placement at Hinsdale South.

David is looking forward to attending the same school that his father went to. His friend Aubrey (Beth's daughter)is also going. The two of them have been friends since they were babies and they are excited about finally going to school together.

Deaf Freedom Cruise 2007

At the end of October, the Royal Caribbean Freedom of the Seas will set sail with over 4,000 passengers. For the first time in history, the cruise will consist of deaf and hard of hearing passengers.

On the entire ship.

That's right, the Deaf Freedom Cruise will be the first time an entire cruise ship is devoted to deaf and hard of hearing passengers. This cruise was made possible by the hard work and dedication of the staff of Passages Deaf Travel.

Passages Deaf Travel is owned by Tabitha and Max Partlow, a husband and wife team. Tabitha first became involved with the Deaf community when she went to college to become an interpreter. The idea of creating a travel business devoted to deaf and hard of hearing persons came about when they attended a cruise with twenty-two other deaf passengers. Despite being promised interpreters and room kits, the deaf passengers boarded the ship only to find out there were none.
"It was at that point that Mac and I realized the need for travel agents to specialize in deaf travel" said Tabitha.

Last year, the team hosted Adventure Cruise 2006 with a group of 350 deaf and hard of hearing travelers aboard Royal Caribbean's Adventure of the Seas. "We had such a wonderful response to that cruise that I wondered if enough people would be interested enough to fill an entire ship," said Tabitha.

"When we had this idea," she continued, "I went to many different cruise companies to see who wanted to do this. Some cruise companies turned me down. Royal Caribbean and Carnival wanted to do it. Royal Caribbean really stepped up and decided to provide the interpreters and room kits at no additional cost to our clients." Real-time captioning will also be provided.

The staff of Royal Caribbean also convinced Tabitha that she could fill up the newest and biggest ship, Freedom of the Seas. "I wasn't thinking about the biggest cruise ship at the time... but Royal Caribbean talked us into it," she said. "Now I am thrilled, it is the best ship!"

Over 3,800 people have booked their rooms and the ship is nearly at capacity. Fully booked, it will hold 4,100 people. Royal Caribbean plans to take pictures of all of the passengers together, but will have to divide it up into four pictures. "Perhaps we can put all four pictures together to make big one!" Tabitha chuckled.
Current sponsors of the trip include Hands On VRS, Worldvuer, DeafNation and Crown Jewelers and more. Entertainment will be provided by some well-known performers, including John Maucere, Bernard Bragg, Keith Wann and CJ Jones. "Keith Wann will have a morning talk show that will air on TV in each cabin, every morning!" said Tabitha. "Keith will talk about the events happening that day, weather, dinner, and other things. Each day, he will interview someone from the ship."

This cruise is the accumulation of a dream for Tabitha. "We feel that the travel industry should provide more access for deaf people" said Tabitha.

"Maybe once they see how successful Deaf Freedom Cruise is... maybe they will come around."

View the DeafNation video of Freedom of the Seas

$65 Million Dollars for a pair of pants-- Absurd!

What would you do if the local dry cleaning establishment lost your favorite pair of pants?

Like most people, you would get a little upset. You might become tremendously pissed off and make the establishment refund you for the cost of the dry cleaning and the pants. At worse, you'd haul them off to small claims court and let a judge settle the case.

Then you'd go out and buy another pair of pants and go off to work.

Like most people.

Apparently, Roy Pearson isn't like most people. He's a judge from Washington, D.C. who decided to take his own case to court and sue the local dry cleaners to the tune of $65 million dollars.

For losing his pants.

The Chungs, who own the dry cleaning establishment, have done everything they can to remedy the issue without going to court. They've offered plenty of money to replace the suit and settle the matter. An offer of twelve grand did nothing to satisfy Mr. Pearson.

He's still dragging them to court and asking for $65 million dollars for the inconvenience of having to rent a car and drive across town to use another dry cleaners.

To top it off, the Chungs claim that they have found his pants.

Let's hope a more level-headed judge will throw this case out and make Pearson pay for this absurd use of our legal system.

And to help this case out, I've got a perfectly good suit sitting in my husband's closet-- Pearson, do you want it?

Deaf Characters in Books--All In One Place

For as long as I can remember, I have always had my nose buried in a book. My mom used to complain when I brought a book to the dinner table. Recently, while doing some surfing on the internet, I came across a compilation of books that have deaf or hard of hearing characters in them on My Shelf.

Brenda, the website owner, has a personal interest in books with deaf characters. Her 24-year-old son is deaf. One day in 1998, she decided to put together a list of fiction books. Today, you will find books on American Sign Language and other non-fiction topics as well. Brenda has read many of the books herself, and provides a summary of each as well as personal notes on some of them.

Check it out: My Shelf-- Deaf Characters

Disabled, Schmabled--Blogging Against Disablism

Over at Diary of a Goldfish, they're Blogging About Disablism. Simply put, Disablism is right up there with a long line of "isms," which boils down to a simple word: discrimination. I also call it a reality based on fear or discomfort.

As many of you know, the hubby and I are deaf and we're raising three deaf and hard of hearing kids. At first glance, we don't look any different from the hundreds of families in our neighborhood. We're just another family in the typical American tract home, driving three kids in two cars to three different activities on the same day.

Glance at us a second time, and you'll find hearing aids in each of our ears. Our youngest son sports red, white and blue earmolds. We've gone through quite a few color combinations throughout the years, including the blue and white swirls in honor of their school colors. Your eyes might catch us signing or tapping each other on the shoulder.

Invite us to a party and you find that we might be a bit quiet at times. Joining in on group conversations is nearly impossible for us. Our eyes simply can't play ping pong with conversations. As soon as we've lipread one conversation and turn to lipread a response from someone else, the conversation moves yet again. That's why we love people who are willing to understand the logistics of group conversation and slow down until we've made eye contact and take turns speaking. Unfortunately, it's a rare occasion when this happens. That's why we like our activities with a group of deaf and hard of hearing friends-- conversation flows and the communication barriers fall to the wayside. I get riled up when people tell me that we need to be "in the real world with hearing people." Believe me, we're in the real world everyday. I just like my world accessible.

We have a couple of people in our lives that have that "deer in the headlights" look whenever they're around us. They're quite uncomfortable making conversation and they offer a few sentences and then dart away. There's no real deep meaningful dialogue because they're so afraid of having to repeat themselves and the tension runs too high. Sometimes we joke about slipping a few anti-anxiety pills in their coffee.

Making a phone call to us can be a bit tricky but it is improving with technology all the time. We now have a regular number that people can call without us having to explain what a relay service is. In years past, we would have to give out an 800 number and our home phone number and people would often give up before attempting to call us. We still have kinks to work out with people who hang up when they get an operator instead of us directly.

The invention that I personally love right now is the videophone. I use a wireless phone to talk to people directly and I have an interpreter on a screen in front of me who signs everything that is being said. Most of the time, conversation flows pretty easily with this method.

Around the internet, I identify myself as "Deaf Mom." It's me, it's who I am, it's a part of me 24/7. Being deaf is so much a part of me that if you can't see beyond the lack of hearing stuff, then you've got a disability of your own.

A Brief Moment of Wishing... for Hearing

On Monday, I attended Austin's birth with my friend Beth and her husband. During the twelve hours of labor, various nurses, the doctor and family members came in and out of the room.

For a couple of moments throughout the day, I briefly wished I could hear.

Don't get me wrong. I feel quite comfortable with myself and I'm assertive enough to ask people to repeat what is being said. So it's not a matter of accepting that I'm deaf. I was comfortable enough to feel that I didn't need an interpreter.

However, there are always situations that come up where asking to repeat things can't happen. For example, one of the husband's friends came into the room and a lot of conversation was flowing. I couldn't join in, since it was moving far too fast for me. A new nurse would come in every couple of hours and I would have to get used to lipreading a different person all day long. Those are the kinds of situations that deaf and hard of hearing people face on a daily basis and frequently get left out of, because there's no polite way to join in the conversation and comprehend everything that's being said.

I've attended two of Beth's births previously and felt quite comfortable supporting her. We've been friends for fourteen years. When it came time to push, I was on one side holding one leg, the hubby was on the other side. Pushing was moving alone routinely.

In the middle of Austin's birth, all hell broke loose. The doctor called a code and suddenly the room filled with doctors and nurses. I, of course, couldn't hear what was going on. Beth's husband mouthed the words, "They're calling for a cesarean!" Austin was stuck.

For several frightening minutes, there was a lot of yelling. I saw the doctor go in with both hands, and I knew instinctively that there was little time to spare. A nurse jumped on top of Beth and applied pressure. I knew those were emergency measures and something inside of me made me lean over Beth and urge her to push.

"Beth, push!"

And somewhere during the moments of praying, watching, and holding my breath, a thought suddenly popped into my mind.

I wish I could hear what everyone is saying.

The thought quickly disappeared as the events unfolded. Austin was brought to the baby warmer and for several heart-wrenching minutes, we didn't know if he was going to make it. It took a few minutes to get him breathing and he pinked up.

It wasn't until today that I reflected back on all that had happened and about that thought that had popped in to my head.

Why in the world, in the middle of all that was happening, did I wish that I could hear?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized why: when I urged Beth to push, I was operating on instinct. There was no way for me to hear the doctor's instructions.

What if I was wrong? What if pushing at that moment was not the right thing to do.

What if my lack of hearing and understanding had hurt my friend?

So it had me wondering about deaf and hard of hearing doctors and nurses-- there are several of them around the U.S.-- how do they handle emergency situations when a code is called?

Stay tuned as I find out more.

It's a...

It's a boy! A big boy! Austin arrived weighing 11 pounds, 12 ounces.

It was a scary birth though after twelve hours of uneventful labor. At one point, the doc called for a cesarean (the baby's head was showing but not progressing) and tried to push the baby back in. Quickly changed his mind and with several pushes, Austin came out with the cord compressed near his head and shoulders.

Mom and baby are doing fine today.

A Baby Coming Up!

Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day. My friend Beth is heading to the hospital to have her fifth baby. Tomorrow's birth will be the fourth birth we've shared together. Beth attended my daughter's birth and I've attended two of her son's births.

For a couple of years, I entertained the idea of becoming a professional doula. My third child was born at home and his homebirth sparked the idea that I wanted to help support moms during birth. I started the process of becoming a childbirth educator and began studying for certification.

I've been fortunate to be able to share in several births with a few friends. When my friend Sue gave birth to her third child, it was one of the toughest births for her. Katie arrived faced up. She gave her mom a rough time in labor, but she's one of the sweetest kids you've ever met.

My friend Cathy gave birth to a tiny little girl-- Caitlin was just one pound thirteen ounces. I arrived at the hospital just in time to see them wheeling her out of the room in an incubator. Today, Caitlin is in first grade and smart as a whip.

The one birth that I will always remember vividly is M's birth. M and I met online. We chatted online frequently and got together with our kids. Her two children were born via cesarean and M was planning a homebirth. She invited me to support her at her daughter's birth.

I was in Michigan when I got the call that labor started. I jumped in the car and got to her house in record time. She labored on and off all night. By morning, she was starting to vocalize more and become uncomfortable. I urged her to step in the tub for some relief and her husband called the midwife. I looked down and realized that the baby had moved down quite a bit. "The baby's moving down," I said.

"No, not yet," she replied.

About a half hour later, I knew that the baby was going to arrive soon, with or without a midwife. I looked at her husband and asked him, "Are you ready to catch?"

At that moment, the midwife walked in. She grabbed some gloves and with a couple of strong pushes, M's baby arrived in the water.

Ah, birth-- there's nothing like the arrival of a new little one into the world.

I can't wait for tomorrow!

I Want One of These!

Five Minutes for Mom is giving away a neat prize: A Phillips Digital Photo Frame!

This neat gadget rotates photos from a memory disk. I really want one of these things because my digital photos are almost never displayed in my home, because I'm too lazy to get them printed out!

Yesterday's Field Trip-- Deaf and Hard of Hearing Advocacy Day

Yesterday, my son David took a field trip to attend an annual "Deaf and Hard of Hearing Advocacy" day. This event is the brainchild of Katie Ward, a supervisor of a program that serves deaf and hard of hearing students in Lockport, Illinois. There were 104 students attending and about 20 parents. Most of the students attend their local schools and some of them attend specialized programs for deaf students.

Earlier in the year, the students were encouraged to share a story about their life and the different ways that they advocate for themselves. Unfortunately, David's itinerant teacher forgot to share that information with us so we weren't able to participate. David's good friend, Aubrey Millar, won an award as a semi-finalist for her wonderful powerpoint presentation.

This year, there were nine deaf and hard of hearing adults who shared a bit about their life-- their careers, travels and advocacy tips. There was a financial advisor, a marketing specialist, vision teacher, village trustee, physical education teacher, band director, network administrator, stay-at-home mom and an audiologist. Each of them had the same message to share:

"Don't let anything stop you from acheiving your dreams."

It's No B.S. Mom, I Love You Too!

I grew up in a family with five generations of hearing loss. My Great-Grandfather, Grandmother, my mom and all of her siblings were deaf or hard of hearing and none of them knew sign language. All of my siblings have hearing loss as well as my children and one niece.

My mother's hearing began to decline in her twenties. All of my brothers and sisters were born hearing and one by one, we each lost our hearing. My oldest sister was three years old when she fell, hit her head and instantly became profoundly deaf. My parents sent her off to live with my aunt and she attended Central Institute for the Deaf, an oral school. My brother Dennis was 36-years-old when a wooden beam fell on him at work and he woke up in the hospital two days later with a severe hearing loss. My sister Jeanie began to lose hearing in her 20's and a few years ago, she slipped on a rug and became profoundly deaf. My brother Kenny has a mild hearing loss that began a few years ago also.

I came along 10 years after the last sibling was born. When I was five, I was diagnosed with a moderate to severe hearing loss. I muddled along in school, receiving a hearing aid in 4th grade and speech therapy. Because I “functioned” so well and was able to keep up my grades, I was pretty much lost in the system. Teachers lavished praise on the “girl with the hearing loss.” My loneliness was often overlooked.

My life stayed this way all through my school years. I made friends with a select few who could look beyond my hearing loss. In high school, I met another girl, Shawn, who also wore hearing aids and we became fast friends. We each shared the horror of dealing with group situations and the anxiety that came with it. We learned to adapt so well that some of our friends had no clue that we wore hearing aids. Of course, we missed out on the punch lines of many jokes while laughing along with the others.

When I began attending classes at the local community college, I started to fear that I had no future ahead of me. I had interviewed for several jobs, but no one had the courage to hire me or deal with my inability to use the phone. I took one job as a dishwasher at a local restaurant and earned money mostly by babysitting. The future began to look pretty bleak. The few guys that I dated weren’t good marriage prospects. I began to wonder just where I was headed.

On a whim, I decided to transfer to a college that had a program for deaf and hard of hearing persons. My mother reluctantly supported my decision. She was afraid to see her last baby go off to the great unknown. How in the world would I cope at a university when I could barely get by at the community college?

Just before going off to college, I was water skiing on my bare feet and I turned to cross the wake. I fell hard, and for the next few days, I kept feeling like I had water in my ear. I had become profoundly deaf.

Going off to college turned out to be a blessing. At first, it was quite a culture shock. I was living on a co-ed floor with people who signed so fast that it was intimidating. Little by little, I was transformed. Slowly, I was introduced to a Deaf life to the point it felt like “coming home.” I was in a world where hearing didn’t matter. It was a world where, if I missed the punch line of a joke, someone would kindly sign it over again until I could join in the laughter. Of course, occasionally I encountered: “Sorry, train gone!”

My mother and siblings began to see a new person blossom in front of them. I introduced them to a TTY, and a new, accessible world began to open for them. My mom admitted that she wished she had known more about sign language while we were growing up so that we could have had access to interpreters.

When my oldest son became deaf, my mom began to ask how to sign certain things. It made me smile to see my 70-year old mom signing to my kids. One of her favorite signs was the sign for “I love you,” which is made with the thumb, forefinger and pinky finger extended and the two middle fingers bent downward.

Every time we got into the van to leave to go home, Mom would flash her “I love you” sign. There was only one problem though…

Mom would occasionally forget and leave the thumb bent inward, which turned the sign into “B.S.”

It is quite a picture to see Mom flashing her “B.S.” sign when we are pulling out of the driveway. It always puts a smile on my face.

It’s no B.S., Mom. I love you too!

The Dog, Interpreters and an SOB Conference

On Saturday, I arrived home from a baseball tournament to a note on the door:

"Dear Mom, Kaycie ate the chocolate peanut butter cups. I'll tell you more when I get home."

My daughter and her friend had gone to the movies. I found the nearly empty tub of Trader Joe's chocolate peanut butter cups in the garbage. My heart stopped for a minute. The twelve-ounce tub was full when we left. But Lauren's friend had a certain penchant for those Trader Joe chocolates. She was known to polish off the entire tub in a weekend. Was I panicking for nothing?

After a quick call to the vet, I realized that I needed to play it safe. Chocolate, in large doses, is toxic to a small dog. Two hundred and forty eight dollars later, I learned that Kaycie had indeed polished off the entire tub of chocolate. It took her a day to recover from her ordeal.

Two hundred and forty eight dollars.

Which leads me to the reason why I need to convince Liz Strauss to give me a discount to the upcoming SOB Conference:

I spent my registration money on my dog!

Now, if that isn't enough to convince Liz that I deserve that $100 discount for the upcoming SOB Conference, I'm betting that as blogger who happens to be deaf, I'll be able to add a unique aspect to the blogging discussions that will take place on May 12th. For me, the internet is a visual medium and occasionally I encounter podcasts or videos that are not accessible to me or the millions of other deaf and hard of hearing users on the web. Perhaps I can add an "eye-opening" perspective as to how to make blogs accessible.

I want to thank Liz Strauss and the SOB team for agreeing to provide interpreters for the upcoming SOB Conference. I'm looking forward to being able to fully participate in the blog discussions.

After I get my $100 discount, of course.

Friday the 13th-- My Lucky Day

One year, my father handed me an envelope with money inside for my birthday. Years later, I cannot remember the amount of money that was inside, nor the year that it was given to me. But I saved the envelope inside my nightstand for years. Typed on the outside was this little poem that my Dad wrote:

Karen

Friday the 13th, a suspecious day
But you came along and I say;
It's hard to believe but it's true
Wish we had two just like you.


Your Mudder, Fodder and everybody else.

Years later, when I was in college, I couldn't wait for the weekends to head home or to ahem, party with my friends. One day, out of the blue, my mom sent me a package. Inside was a plaque:



Hang on, Friday's coming!

After spending yesterday bawling at yet another IEP meeting (I'm sure I have a reputation in my district as an emotional mom, nevermind that I can advocate for someone else like a Piranha!), I'm just glad that today's Friday, and the 13th at that. I'm heading to work this morning then out to lunch with a friend.

The best part of all-- there's actually a glimpse of spring today!

Custom Greeting Cards by a Deaf Designer

Jill Stark, another mom who is deaf, runs a business designing customized greeting cards. Jill has an amazing eye for design and her cards are beautiful. If you're looking for a customized wedding invitation, greeting card, birth announcement--she's the gal to go to.

The design you see above is one of the samples from her site: Jilizart.

A Snowy Easter

We headed up to Christie Lake on Saturday and as soon as we arrived, it began to snow. There was already an inch or two of snow on the ground. My brother and my nephew had put the pier in the water the weekend before. If you look closely at the photo above, you'll see a swan gliding on the left.

Published in Another Book!

Yesterday, a flat package arrived in the mail. I tore open the envelope and found the book, Don't Cut Me Again! True Stories About Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) Edited by Angela Hoy, owner of Booklocker and Writer's Weekly, the book is a collection of birth stories centered around women birthing vaginally after previously having a cesarean birth. About a year ago, I had submitted the story of my youngest son's homebirth. My two older children were born via cesarean. The story is included in the book, along with pictures of my kids.

Angela also runs a VBAC blog here: Angela's VBAC Blog.

A few months ago, I received my copy of On The Fence: The Hidden World of the Hard of Hearing, written by Mark Drolsbaugh. I had submitted a chapter in that book as well, highlighting my experience of growing up hard of hearing and becoming deaf.

Someday, in my lifetime, I'd like to write my own book.

Passing on some "Success Secrets"

I've been tagged by Stephen at Adversity University to share some daily success habits. The Daily Success Secrets started over at Today Is The Day. The idea is to list five or ten "success" habits that you follow on a frequent basis.

Wake up grateful.This is a relatively new habit of mine. On most days, I tend to wake up with a mental list of things to do for the day. I am learning to replace this with thoughts of gratitude.

Do something nice for someone else. My mom taught me this one-- she often helped neighbors, baked something for someone or lent an ear when someone needed to talk. Spread some good stuff, and the good stuff will come back to you.

Maintain a balance. Life gets crazy at times. It becomes tough to maintain a balance in all areas of life. However, when things are out of balance, then the success of other habits begins to shift. I've learned to let go of some things or create new habits to maintain balance.

Enjoy life. If you're not having fun, laughing, loving someone or enjoying life-- then what is it all for? Every day, every moment, is a gift.

And the ultimate recipe for success:

Follow the Happiness motto. Back in high school, an itinerant teacher gave me a small plaque that said: "The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

I'm tagging my friend Groovy next!

Goovy's Ruminations

A Quick Vacation and Back to Reality

This past weekend was a whirlwind of activity. On Friday night, David's friend Aubrey stayed overnight and I drove the two of them to a local junior high to meet up with their dodgeball teammates for the day. June Prusak, the youth director at Chicago Hearing Society was driving the team up north. Fourteen deaf and hard of hearing kids were entered in a tournament at the Schaumburg Park District.

The kids had a blast at the tournament and David headed home with another friend for a sleepover. I was busy packing up a suitcase for our trip to the Dells. My neighbor Barb came over with her kids and we ordered some lunch.

On Sunday morning, we picked up David and took off for Wisconsin. The trip is an annual tradition for me and my friend Sue and our families. Sue and I met at Northern Illinois University. We became roommates and close friends, sharing pregnancies together and raising deaf and hard of hearing kids. Our kids are close friends as well. Sue has five kids (two step-children) and all of the kids get along great.

This year, we headed out to the Wilderness Resort. I was surprised to see how much the resort expanded from our first visit years ago. The place now has three waterparks with a variety of water rides. The adults spent time in the indoor/outdoor hot tub (with grown up drinks) while the kids roamed. This was the first year we could really kick back and let the kids take off. Such a bittersweet feeling-- to enjoy the freedom on one hand but also realize how our kids have sprouted wings too soon.

"Through Deaf Eyes," And Through My Own

Yesterday was one of those crazy days. My parents and sister came in from Michigan and my cousins came in from Maryland and Missouri. My brother and his family joined us for dinner. All of us are deaf or hard of hearing with the exception of a few. We had a great dinner of my mom's famous lasagna and Red Velvet cake aferwards.

After dinner, a friend of mine and another guy installed a new videophone system in my office. I am starting a new job and wanted to make sure that I had several videophone options to rely on. If you're not familiar with a videophone--it is a webcam that is hooked up to a tv or monitor and an interpreter shows up on the display. I use a phone to talk directly to the person I'm calling (or who is calling me) and the interpreter interprets/signs what is being said. The conversation is almost seamless for me with very little lag time.

When 9:15 p.m. rolled around, I suddenly realized that the PBS Special, "Through Deaf Eyes" had already started. My mom and one of my cousins joined me in watching the show. It was definitely an "eye opener" for them.

While watching the documentary, I found myself taking a few trips back in time. When I graduated from college (just yesterday, ahem!), I started a deaf senior citizens group and often spent time with older deaf persons who shared what their life was like while growing up. They shared stories of traveling great distances to see their friends, only to find out that no one was home. An older woman shared the same thing on the PBS show. When they showed the early TTYs,(early phones for deaf people), which were big Western Union teletype machines, I thought back to the calls I made on the last few teletype machines that were still working less than twenty years ago. Today, my TTY machine is collecting dust on my kitchen counter. I now use a captioned phone and video phone to make my phone calls.

The documentary also featured the National Theatre of the Deaf and that took me back to my college years when I attended a show for the first time. I knew very little sign language back then and could not understand any of the theatrical American Sign Language that was flying across the stage. I remember leaving that play feeling quite lost and empty-- I was still dealing with becoming profoundly deaf and learning a new language. The same thing happened when a band called "Foxfire" performed-- I couldn't follow any of the music or the signing. I've since learned that for me to enjoy any musicals or plays with ASL, I have to turn off my hearing aid and immerse myself in the ASL. Otherwise, if I attend a concert, I obtain an interpreter who can interpret with an emphasis on English so I can match the sounds going in my ear.

I was happy to see the variety of communication modes on the show because there's truly a diverse population of deaf and hard of hearing persons. I was surprised however, not to see an interview with an adult or family using Cued Speech as several of the families that I know use this method of communication.

My cousin is heading home today and plans to enroll in an ASL class. I look forward to teaching her all the naughty words in sign.

AG Bell Retreat At Local School

On Friday, I headed out to Child's Voice after a Deaf Mentor session in the morning. This was the first time I had joined an AG Bell event. The retreat was for deaf and hard of hearing adults.

The morning session consisted of observing a child in a one-on-one session with a teacher. We then gathered in the main gym and had an "Advocacy" session with about twenty deaf and hard of hearing children from kindergarten to first grade. Many of the children had one or two cochlear implants and several of them had hearing aids. A teacher lead the discussion and began with questions about ways the children and adults could advocate when communication breaks down. The kids eagerly raised their hands to answer questions and share their advocacy tips. The teacher repeated or summarized each answer. I found that it was quite a feat to make sure that I could understand everyone and I had to get up and move around to make sure that I had access to the conversations. At one point, I missed an answer to a question and made sure that I demonstrated my own advocacy skills to get it repeated.




After a delicious lunch, the adults met with the parents from Child's Voice and four deaf adults shared their experiences during a panel discussion. One was a lawyer from San Diego, a student in a business college, a doctoral student in Audiology and a school psychologist from Indiana School for the Deaf. We all sat in a circle and everything was captioned on a large screen. I was grateful for the captioning because I was able to lip read the deaf participants and then glance at the screen for anything that was missed.

On the drive home, I was thinking about a comment that one of the panelists shared. She mentioned that her parents attended every AG Bell convention since she was a little girl. It was during these conventions that she met other deaf and hard of hearing people and realized, "I am not alone, there are other people out there who are just like me."

I thought it was the most important message of the day.

Tinnitus-- The Roaring in my Head

It's back.

One can only liken it to Chinese Water Torture-- the incessant roaring, screeching sound that exists in my head. Much like a steady drip of water, it is a constant sound that occasionally fades to the background but comes roaring back at a moment's notice.

Tinnitus.

As a kid, I had no idea what the roaring sound was in my head. I can remember many nights of tossing and turning on a school night, trying to get some sleep and wishing that I could crawl out of my head and get away from the sound. For a long time after becoming profoundly deaf in college, I was blessed with peaceful nights of sleep. In the last few years, I've had a few episodes of tinnitus that fortunately, do not last long.

There are lots of Resources on Tinnitus including some interesting pills made of botanicals that one can take to reduce it.

Most of the time, hearing aids help mask the ringing sounds, but this most recent bout won't go away even with my hearing aids in. I usually resort to hypnotherapy (something that I used when I birthed my son at home) to quiet my mind and take the focus off of the sounds. Another thing that helps is to listen to my son's music on his Ipod.

One blast of Weird Al Yankovich and the sounds are gone.

Advertise Free Food--And You've Got an Event!

On Saturday night, I donned my i711.com polo shirt and headed off to the new Video Relay center in Schaumburg where i711.com was hosting an open house for the community. Robyn Girad, the Community Marketing Manager for GoAmerica which operates i711, gave a power point presentation explaining the new services. If you're not familiar with relay services, it is a service that uses a hearing operator to "relay" calls from a deaf/hard of hearing person to a hearing caller. I can make relay calls using AOL instant messenger to call my doctor, neighbor, etc. and I can also use a video relay operator to make calls also. More information is available here: Relay and Beyond.

We had so many people crowded into the new call center that there wasn't enough room to fit everyone in. Before we knew it, the food disappeared:

A Disappointing IEP Meeting

Yesterday's IEP meeting for my oldest son was a doozie. For those of you who are not familiar with IEP meetings, these are legal meetings with school personnel that outline an Individual Education Plan for students with disabilities or in special education.

Yesterday's meeting was an Annual Review, but the hubby and I brought up a change of placement for our son. We live in a district that has a strong inclusion policy in their approach for education for children in special education. This means that our deaf and hard of hearing kids attend regular classes with accommodations such as sign language interpreters and FM systems that amplify what is spoken in the classroom. We asked for a change in schools to allow our son to attend a high school with nearly seventy other deaf kids. He would still attend classes with other hearing students, but have access to his deaf peers during lunch and other activities. He would also have the option of taking several classes that are team taught by a teacher of the deaf and classes with deaf students. This is something that is currently missing from his middle school in our district. He meets with three other hard of hearing students three times a month in a group run by the school social worker and itinerant teacher.

The district team was very mixed in their response to our request. The Special Education person running the meeting was not supportive and indicated that our request was not the Least Restrictive Environment for our son and the district couldn't justify this placement. He's been doing just fine in middle school, they said. Frankly, keeping our son in a high school where he is the only deaf student is indeed quite restrictive for his social/emotional development. Academically, he will do fine at either high school, but he won't have peers that he can communicate freely with in group situations at the district high school. I actually broke down crying at this IEP meeting.

The district has decided to gather more information from us and our son via the school's social worker and determine placement on the outcome of that report. Then the team meets again to decide which high school is the appropriate placement. We'll be bringing an advocate with us and looking into legal counsel. Sadly, the outcome lies with the district and their interpretation of the law. I'm not sure how much our input will have an effect.

So at this moment, I have no clue as to where my son will attend high school in the fall or what our plans will be if they don't agree with our request.

Come On Over to the Party!

It's party time! Five Minutes for Mom is hosting the ultimate blog party this week.

Today, you're invited to mine! Yesterday, my daughter and I spent the day making one of my favorite treats from the Taste of Home Magazine, Pecan Delights. If you like Fannie May Pixie candy, then you're going to fall in love with these. So grab a bite and kick back.


So those of you who are new here, welcome! I'm Karen from the state of Chicago, er um, Chicago, Illinois. I'm actually from Bolingbrook but unless I tell people that we're right next to Naperville, (the number two city ranked as the "Best Place to Live" in Money magazine) they often have no clue about my town. I'm a deaf mom with three deaf and hard of hearing kids and a deaf husband too. You can hear the music blasting from our house clear across town.

Today, I've got a sick kiddo at home and an IEP meeting this morning. Thank goodness for neighbors who step in when needed.

That doesn't stop me from crashing a couple of parties this week. Of course, I have to stop over at Groovy's house, she's throwing a game party. Groovy and I met on a writer's board and she's got a wicked sense of humor. A couple of weeks ago, she did a Google search for images under her name and my photo popped up. Groovy recently made it into the Reader's Digest and now I tease her that the more famous she becomes, the more my photo will come up. Go, Groovy, go!

Rocks in my Dryer is hosting a unique writing challenge: write yourself a letter going back in time and reflect on some knowledge that you've gained.

Jenny, from Home is Where You Start From writes about homeschooling in sunny California. That's where I wish I was right now...

I expected some desserts on Dessert Diva but I found a fellow photographer after my own heart: she's got my favorite Robert Frost poem on her site, "The Road Not Taken."

Another writer and another Karen shares about life on Write From Karen.

So tonight, I'm planning to kick back with the Pecan Delights that are left over and read more!

Howie Seago Teaches Deaf People to Sing!

Howie Seago provided entertainment on Friday night at the Illinois Teachers for Deaf and Hard of Hearing conference. Howie Seago is a deaf actor who has done many plays, television shows (Star Trek, The Next Generation, Hunter and The Equalizer) and a movie, Beyond Silence.

During his comedy routine, Howie called up three deaf individuals to the stage: Chicago locals Gary Etkie and Terry Kourt, and Mark Bella from California. Howie announced that the skit was called "The Three Tenors" and he would be teaching them to sing a song titled, O Sole Mio. The three guys gave Howie an incredulous look; how were they going to convert their deaf voices into song?

So one by one they began to sing O Sole Mio, with Howie directing each word and wrapping their hands to keep them from signing. By the third round of singing, the audience was in stitches. June Prusak from Chicago Hearing Society was laughing so hard that Howie stopped the show momentarily so that she could regain her composure and view the rest of the show. The audience used a show of hands to judge the singing ability of each and Howie awarded them with a bottle of water for their efforts.

The next day, Jane Holtz and I did a presentation on "Hands & Voices, Supporting Families Without Bias" for the teachers. Despite being in the last time slot of the conference, we had a nice turnout.

Marlee Matlin in "Working Mother" Magazine

Yesterday, I went to get a haircut and saw the February/March issue of Working Mother sitting on a display stand. I glanced through it and saw the familiar face of Marlee Matlin.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have to admire Marlee for her continued success as a working mom and actress. A lot of peole figured she was a "one shot wonder" when she won the Academy Award as the youngest actress. Here she is today, a mom of four and still performing. She's involved in various charities, published two children's books and continues to be a regular Hollywood icon.

My guess is that this mom of four has a lot more dreams and accomplishments planned and we'll be seeing her around for many more years.