A Quick Vacation and Back to Reality

This past weekend was a whirlwind of activity. On Friday night, David's friend Aubrey stayed overnight and I drove the two of them to a local junior high to meet up with their dodgeball teammates for the day. June Prusak, the youth director at Chicago Hearing Society was driving the team up north. Fourteen deaf and hard of hearing kids were entered in a tournament at the Schaumburg Park District.

The kids had a blast at the tournament and David headed home with another friend for a sleepover. I was busy packing up a suitcase for our trip to the Dells. My neighbor Barb came over with her kids and we ordered some lunch.

On Sunday morning, we picked up David and took off for Wisconsin. The trip is an annual tradition for me and my friend Sue and our families. Sue and I met at Northern Illinois University. We became roommates and close friends, sharing pregnancies together and raising deaf and hard of hearing kids. Our kids are close friends as well. Sue has five kids (two step-children) and all of the kids get along great.

This year, we headed out to the Wilderness Resort. I was surprised to see how much the resort expanded from our first visit years ago. The place now has three waterparks with a variety of water rides. The adults spent time in the indoor/outdoor hot tub (with grown up drinks) while the kids roamed. This was the first year we could really kick back and let the kids take off. Such a bittersweet feeling-- to enjoy the freedom on one hand but also realize how our kids have sprouted wings too soon.

"Through Deaf Eyes," And Through My Own

Yesterday was one of those crazy days. My parents and sister came in from Michigan and my cousins came in from Maryland and Missouri. My brother and his family joined us for dinner. All of us are deaf or hard of hearing with the exception of a few. We had a great dinner of my mom's famous lasagna and Red Velvet cake aferwards.

After dinner, a friend of mine and another guy installed a new videophone system in my office. I am starting a new job and wanted to make sure that I had several videophone options to rely on. If you're not familiar with a videophone--it is a webcam that is hooked up to a tv or monitor and an interpreter shows up on the display. I use a phone to talk directly to the person I'm calling (or who is calling me) and the interpreter interprets/signs what is being said. The conversation is almost seamless for me with very little lag time.

When 9:15 p.m. rolled around, I suddenly realized that the PBS Special, "Through Deaf Eyes" had already started. My mom and one of my cousins joined me in watching the show. It was definitely an "eye opener" for them.

While watching the documentary, I found myself taking a few trips back in time. When I graduated from college (just yesterday, ahem!), I started a deaf senior citizens group and often spent time with older deaf persons who shared what their life was like while growing up. They shared stories of traveling great distances to see their friends, only to find out that no one was home. An older woman shared the same thing on the PBS show. When they showed the early TTYs,(early phones for deaf people), which were big Western Union teletype machines, I thought back to the calls I made on the last few teletype machines that were still working less than twenty years ago. Today, my TTY machine is collecting dust on my kitchen counter. I now use a captioned phone and video phone to make my phone calls.

The documentary also featured the National Theatre of the Deaf and that took me back to my college years when I attended a show for the first time. I knew very little sign language back then and could not understand any of the theatrical American Sign Language that was flying across the stage. I remember leaving that play feeling quite lost and empty-- I was still dealing with becoming profoundly deaf and learning a new language. The same thing happened when a band called "Foxfire" performed-- I couldn't follow any of the music or the signing. I've since learned that for me to enjoy any musicals or plays with ASL, I have to turn off my hearing aid and immerse myself in the ASL. Otherwise, if I attend a concert, I obtain an interpreter who can interpret with an emphasis on English so I can match the sounds going in my ear.

I was happy to see the variety of communication modes on the show because there's truly a diverse population of deaf and hard of hearing persons. I was surprised however, not to see an interview with an adult or family using Cued Speech as several of the families that I know use this method of communication.

My cousin is heading home today and plans to enroll in an ASL class. I look forward to teaching her all the naughty words in sign.

AG Bell Retreat At Local School

On Friday, I headed out to Child's Voice after a Deaf Mentor session in the morning. This was the first time I had joined an AG Bell event. The retreat was for deaf and hard of hearing adults.

The morning session consisted of observing a child in a one-on-one session with a teacher. We then gathered in the main gym and had an "Advocacy" session with about twenty deaf and hard of hearing children from kindergarten to first grade. Many of the children had one or two cochlear implants and several of them had hearing aids. A teacher lead the discussion and began with questions about ways the children and adults could advocate when communication breaks down. The kids eagerly raised their hands to answer questions and share their advocacy tips. The teacher repeated or summarized each answer. I found that it was quite a feat to make sure that I could understand everyone and I had to get up and move around to make sure that I had access to the conversations. At one point, I missed an answer to a question and made sure that I demonstrated my own advocacy skills to get it repeated.




After a delicious lunch, the adults met with the parents from Child's Voice and four deaf adults shared their experiences during a panel discussion. One was a lawyer from San Diego, a student in a business college, a doctoral student in Audiology and a school psychologist from Indiana School for the Deaf. We all sat in a circle and everything was captioned on a large screen. I was grateful for the captioning because I was able to lip read the deaf participants and then glance at the screen for anything that was missed.

On the drive home, I was thinking about a comment that one of the panelists shared. She mentioned that her parents attended every AG Bell convention since she was a little girl. It was during these conventions that she met other deaf and hard of hearing people and realized, "I am not alone, there are other people out there who are just like me."

I thought it was the most important message of the day.

Tinnitus-- The Roaring in my Head

It's back.

One can only liken it to Chinese Water Torture-- the incessant roaring, screeching sound that exists in my head. Much like a steady drip of water, it is a constant sound that occasionally fades to the background but comes roaring back at a moment's notice.

Tinnitus.

As a kid, I had no idea what the roaring sound was in my head. I can remember many nights of tossing and turning on a school night, trying to get some sleep and wishing that I could crawl out of my head and get away from the sound. For a long time after becoming profoundly deaf in college, I was blessed with peaceful nights of sleep. In the last few years, I've had a few episodes of tinnitus that fortunately, do not last long.

There are lots of Resources on Tinnitus including some interesting pills made of botanicals that one can take to reduce it.

Most of the time, hearing aids help mask the ringing sounds, but this most recent bout won't go away even with my hearing aids in. I usually resort to hypnotherapy (something that I used when I birthed my son at home) to quiet my mind and take the focus off of the sounds. Another thing that helps is to listen to my son's music on his Ipod.

One blast of Weird Al Yankovich and the sounds are gone.

Advertise Free Food--And You've Got an Event!

On Saturday night, I donned my i711.com polo shirt and headed off to the new Video Relay center in Schaumburg where i711.com was hosting an open house for the community. Robyn Girad, the Community Marketing Manager for GoAmerica which operates i711, gave a power point presentation explaining the new services. If you're not familiar with relay services, it is a service that uses a hearing operator to "relay" calls from a deaf/hard of hearing person to a hearing caller. I can make relay calls using AOL instant messenger to call my doctor, neighbor, etc. and I can also use a video relay operator to make calls also. More information is available here: Relay and Beyond.

We had so many people crowded into the new call center that there wasn't enough room to fit everyone in. Before we knew it, the food disappeared:

A Disappointing IEP Meeting

Yesterday's IEP meeting for my oldest son was a doozie. For those of you who are not familiar with IEP meetings, these are legal meetings with school personnel that outline an Individual Education Plan for students with disabilities or in special education.

Yesterday's meeting was an Annual Review, but the hubby and I brought up a change of placement for our son. We live in a district that has a strong inclusion policy in their approach for education for children in special education. This means that our deaf and hard of hearing kids attend regular classes with accommodations such as sign language interpreters and FM systems that amplify what is spoken in the classroom. We asked for a change in schools to allow our son to attend a high school with nearly seventy other deaf kids. He would still attend classes with other hearing students, but have access to his deaf peers during lunch and other activities. He would also have the option of taking several classes that are team taught by a teacher of the deaf and classes with deaf students. This is something that is currently missing from his middle school in our district. He meets with three other hard of hearing students three times a month in a group run by the school social worker and itinerant teacher.

The district team was very mixed in their response to our request. The Special Education person running the meeting was not supportive and indicated that our request was not the Least Restrictive Environment for our son and the district couldn't justify this placement. He's been doing just fine in middle school, they said. Frankly, keeping our son in a high school where he is the only deaf student is indeed quite restrictive for his social/emotional development. Academically, he will do fine at either high school, but he won't have peers that he can communicate freely with in group situations at the district high school. I actually broke down crying at this IEP meeting.

The district has decided to gather more information from us and our son via the school's social worker and determine placement on the outcome of that report. Then the team meets again to decide which high school is the appropriate placement. We'll be bringing an advocate with us and looking into legal counsel. Sadly, the outcome lies with the district and their interpretation of the law. I'm not sure how much our input will have an effect.

So at this moment, I have no clue as to where my son will attend high school in the fall or what our plans will be if they don't agree with our request.

Come On Over to the Party!

It's party time! Five Minutes for Mom is hosting the ultimate blog party this week.

Today, you're invited to mine! Yesterday, my daughter and I spent the day making one of my favorite treats from the Taste of Home Magazine, Pecan Delights. If you like Fannie May Pixie candy, then you're going to fall in love with these. So grab a bite and kick back.


So those of you who are new here, welcome! I'm Karen from the state of Chicago, er um, Chicago, Illinois. I'm actually from Bolingbrook but unless I tell people that we're right next to Naperville, (the number two city ranked as the "Best Place to Live" in Money magazine) they often have no clue about my town. I'm a deaf mom with three deaf and hard of hearing kids and a deaf husband too. You can hear the music blasting from our house clear across town.

Today, I've got a sick kiddo at home and an IEP meeting this morning. Thank goodness for neighbors who step in when needed.

That doesn't stop me from crashing a couple of parties this week. Of course, I have to stop over at Groovy's house, she's throwing a game party. Groovy and I met on a writer's board and she's got a wicked sense of humor. A couple of weeks ago, she did a Google search for images under her name and my photo popped up. Groovy recently made it into the Reader's Digest and now I tease her that the more famous she becomes, the more my photo will come up. Go, Groovy, go!

Rocks in my Dryer is hosting a unique writing challenge: write yourself a letter going back in time and reflect on some knowledge that you've gained.

Jenny, from Home is Where You Start From writes about homeschooling in sunny California. That's where I wish I was right now...

I expected some desserts on Dessert Diva but I found a fellow photographer after my own heart: she's got my favorite Robert Frost poem on her site, "The Road Not Taken."

Another writer and another Karen shares about life on Write From Karen.

So tonight, I'm planning to kick back with the Pecan Delights that are left over and read more!

Howie Seago Teaches Deaf People to Sing!

Howie Seago provided entertainment on Friday night at the Illinois Teachers for Deaf and Hard of Hearing conference. Howie Seago is a deaf actor who has done many plays, television shows (Star Trek, The Next Generation, Hunter and The Equalizer) and a movie, Beyond Silence.

During his comedy routine, Howie called up three deaf individuals to the stage: Chicago locals Gary Etkie and Terry Kourt, and Mark Bella from California. Howie announced that the skit was called "The Three Tenors" and he would be teaching them to sing a song titled, O Sole Mio. The three guys gave Howie an incredulous look; how were they going to convert their deaf voices into song?

So one by one they began to sing O Sole Mio, with Howie directing each word and wrapping their hands to keep them from signing. By the third round of singing, the audience was in stitches. June Prusak from Chicago Hearing Society was laughing so hard that Howie stopped the show momentarily so that she could regain her composure and view the rest of the show. The audience used a show of hands to judge the singing ability of each and Howie awarded them with a bottle of water for their efforts.

The next day, Jane Holtz and I did a presentation on "Hands & Voices, Supporting Families Without Bias" for the teachers. Despite being in the last time slot of the conference, we had a nice turnout.

Marlee Matlin in "Working Mother" Magazine

Yesterday, I went to get a haircut and saw the February/March issue of Working Mother sitting on a display stand. I glanced through it and saw the familiar face of Marlee Matlin.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have to admire Marlee for her continued success as a working mom and actress. A lot of peole figured she was a "one shot wonder" when she won the Academy Award as the youngest actress. Here she is today, a mom of four and still performing. She's involved in various charities, published two children's books and continues to be a regular Hollywood icon.

My guess is that this mom of four has a lot more dreams and accomplishments planned and we'll be seeing her around for many more years.

Triplets Who Are Deaf Blind-- After the Show

"What do you do when this stretches out for the rest of your life?" commented Dr. Phil on his show today featuring the Hooker family with triplets who are deaf blind. The first half of the show gave viewers a peek into the daily life of caring for the three of them every day. Diapers, special pajamas that zip up in the back, head rocking, temper tantrums and drinks that end up on the floor. The daily struggle of trying to build up language while simply trying to survive through the day.

As I watched the show, I found myself thinking about the sheer amount of work it takes to try and communicate with three young ones using tactile sign. I noticed that one triplet had a cochlear implant, so I'm sure the family's life includes visits to the audiologist on a regular basis for mappings. One child who is deaf blind is a challenge; three requires some daily outside help to keep your own strength going. It's no wonder the family's mental resources were tested to the limit.

Dr. Phil brought on Jennifer Rothschild, author of Lessons I Learned in the Dark to inspire the family. Jennifer became blind a the age of fifteen. While her story was inspiring, I really felt that Dr. Phil could have made a greater impact by bringing on an adult who was deaf blind. Brian Hubbard, for example, is a psychotherapist who happens to be deaf blind and an inspirational speaker as well.

Perhaps as a result of this show, the Hooker family will be able to connect with other families raising children who are deaf blind and adults who are deaf blind.

For a summary of the show, go here: Triplets Who Are Deaf Blind.

Triplets who are Deaf Blind on Dr. Phil Show

Imagine having your hands full with triplets. Now imagine that each of them are deaf blind--your hands would be truly full. Jamie Burke did an interview with the parents, Liz and George Hooker, when the children were close to five years of age: Deafblind Triplet Daughters.

The Hooker family will be featured on the Dr. Phil Show on Wednesday, February 28th, 2007. Check your local listings for the time.

From the Dr. Phil Show listing:

Most parents find raising a child overwhelming enough, but imagine if that child could neither see you, nor hear you. Now imagine having three children like that. Liz is the mother of the only known deafblind triplets in the world. Her three daughters are now 6 years old, but one of the girls is able to communicate at a 2-year-old level, and the other two at only 10-month-old levels. Liz's world is consumed with their 24-hour care, plus the care of her oldest daughter, who is 10 and often times overlooked among the chaos of the triplets. After years of dealing with the girls on her own, a new man stepped into Liz's life to fill the shoes of her ex-husband. George thought he could become Liz's hero, but their relationship has been strained from the start and the stress is tearing them apart. See what a day in Liz and George's lives are like, and the surprises Dr. Phil has in store for them. Plus, meet an inspirational woman who says her world turned from light to dark at the age of 15. She's got a message for George and Liz. Don't miss this heartbreaking and heroic story!

Deaf and Hard of Hearing People-- The Realities of Employment

At a recent Parent Connection meeting over the weekend, a supervisor of deaf education mentioned that deaf and hard of hearing people often have difficulties finding employment and most are underemployed.

Many deaf and hard of hearing persons, the supervisor explained, often do not have opportunities to move up to higher positions despite being qualified to do so.

On the Hands & Voices website, the statistics are rather dismal but many of the studies are also quite old: A Snapshot of Statistics.

From the site:

Approximately 40% of deaf adults are unemployed and 90% are underemployed. (Siegel, 2000).

Underemployed simply means that someone has degrees, qualifications or skills that are not being utilized in their current employment.

The truth is a somewhat muddled picture. Today, with so much technology available, there are many more opportunities for deaf and hard of hearing persons to take on a variety of jobs that were considered unthinkable thirty years ago. We have doctors, lawyers, vets, reporters, realtors, financial advisors-- the list goes on. Yet, deaf and hard of hearing persons often have a difficult time of even getting their foot in the door and obtaining an interview. The one thing that often presents a barrier is the attitude of the person doing the hiring. One has to wonder how many qualified, talented deaf and hard of hearing persons are overlooked for jobs because of the perception that their "hearing deficiencies" will present a problem.

Jo Waldron sums it up: "The worst barrier in the world is attitude." Marlee Matlin, in a Business Week article also has something to say about attitude: All it takes to realize that a deaf person can rise to any task is a little awareness and interaction. All it takes is a little awareness. I like to say that the greatest handicap of deafness does not lie in the ear, it lies in the mind.

Check out Trudy Suggs' article: Will Work For Food.

Thoughts, anyone?

Itching for Spring

It has started.

I was in line at Lowes yesterday and picked up my first gardening magazine of the year. I love that moment when I recognize that spring is coming and I can sculpt my backyard with a shake of a seed package.

There's one plant that I've never had any luck with, the purple echinacea in the photograph above. I took that picture at the Holley Family Village in Michigan a few years ago. They had a wonderful, small garden filled with native plants and grasses. For the last couple of years, I've tried transplants, potted plants and seeds in an effort to get purple echinacea in my landscape.

At first, I tried just one potted plant, figuring that I could harvest the seeds and divide the plant for the following year. I'm such a cheap gardener, I don't like to spend money on something that can be propagated easily. That first year, the rabbits mowed the plant down to the ground.

The second year, I tried seeds in various locations. The rabbits had a picnic as soon as the seedlings sprouted.

I also hate having to barricade a plant, so plants have to be tough to survive in our backyard. We live across the street from a prairie filled with coyotes, so the rabbits take refuge in suburbia. You know that old rule about seeing one rabbit? It means you've got a family of a million rabbits instead.

Last year, I didn't bother with the echinacea because I was experimenting with white daisies from my neighbor. I was so happy that a clump of white daisies managed to survive the rabbits without a barricade.

So perhaps this summer will be the summer of purple flowers for me.

Stay tuned. Pictures will be forthcoming in August.

Assuming, of course, that the rabbits don't win again.

Doing an Article on Cochlear Implants

It was bound to happen.

I'm currently working on an article that will feature families who've experienced a rough journey with a cochlear implant. The idea for the article came about when my daughter's friend experienced an implant failure. Her implant simply stopped working during dinner one night. It was really tough for my daughter's friend to have to go through several weeks without her implant, deal with another surgery and the long adjustment process afterward as she got used to a different brand of implant.

Don't get me wrong, the majority of my friends and the families that I know who have implants get great use out of them and have no regrets. If you do a search for cochlear implant stories, you will find a vast wealth of stories of implant users who are happy with them.

So when I got the idea for this story and went looking for families and adults to share their stories of difficulties, I took a beating.

How dare you discourage parents from considering an implant by writing only about the negatives?

Parents will get enough disclosure before surgery as the implant team will go over all the possible complications that can result. Why worry parents with things that happen in only 1 to 2 percent of the cases?

I also found my name dragged through the mud on one forum by someone who didn't even know me. Another accused me of running a PR campaign for the Deaf Community.

And the irony is that I'm getting closer to getting an implant myself.

All I really wanted from this article is to share the stories of families/adults who have gone through a difficult time with an implant. So that my daughter's friend and the other families that have struggled would be able to relate to others who have "walked that walk" and know that they weren't alone.

The real point of this article is not about the implants-- it's about the families' journeys. It's about sharing feelings of what families/adults have experienced when encountering difficulties with an implant. Every family/adult has a story that needs to be honored and shared, and sometimes it includes stories of families and adults who've had outcomes that fall in the that lower end of the statistic.

So if you're an adult with an implant who has had a difficult journey or a family with a child with an implant and you are willing to be interviewed, contact me at: parentsofdeafhoh (at) aol (dot) com.

Update: Here's the article-- Twists and Turns, Journeys with Implants.

Back to Reality--And It Bites

We just got back from a short vacation down in Kissimmee, Florida. I had won some money from Epinions and it was in the form of an Ebay gift certificate. So we decided to use it on a time share vacation at Silver Lakes Resort.

The resort was quite nice, although the two-bedroom villa that we stayed in was a bit outdated with the decor. We sat through a 90-minute presentation and toured the brand new facilities which were packed with a "wow" factor. Granite countertops and plasma tvs in every room-- we almost wanted to buy a time share right then and there. Fortunately, one look at the checkbook balance and we came to our senses.

We spent one day at Wet-N-Wild, a water park run by Universal. The temperature was 74 degrees with nary a cloud in site and the water was heated. Best of all, there were almost no lines and we were able to try every ride in the resort. The youngest kiddo and I wisely declined the 90-degree body slide, preferring not to do bodily harm to our backside.


We played tennis at the resort one day and it was the first time that the kids had ever held rackets. The boys constantly fought the urge to swing the tennis racket like a baseball bat but they took great delight in chasing after tennis balls whenever they would hit it out of the court. "This is the most fun I've ever had!" exclaimed the oldest. The hubby and I looked at each other in amazement. The free stuff beat out the expensive water park, go figure.

So here we are back home to a dusty house, a sink full of dishes and snow piled up outside. There's homework to be done before the kids head back to school tomorrow and grocery shopping to do.

Ah, back to reality.

But before I head to the kitchen, I'm taking one more look at the palm trees swaying in the wind...

Surviving Substitute Teaching

For the last three and half weeks, I have been substitute teaching at a local high school in the foreign language department. The teacher that I subbed for participated in the Deaf Olympics as an interpreter for the USA Hockey team. The USA team took the gold medal.

I subbed in three different American Sign Language classes with about fifteen students in each class. In two of the classes, the students were absolute angels. One class had a few students who enjoyed disrupting the class and clowning around. They certainly kept me on my toes. Fortunately, no one had to visit the dean.

It was easy for the students to take advantage of having a deaf sub because I could see them whispering answers to each other during quizzes. It was nearly impossible to monitor it closely so I'm sure a few of them got away with some assisted answers. They also got away with talking to each other during movies.

On the last day, the students wrote a one-page essay describing their experiences with a substitute teacher. I was pleasantly surprised to receive some nice feedback.

Last night, the regular teacher stopped by to pick up her key and some papers and gave me a t-shirt from the Deaf Olympics.

I'm actually going to miss those students!

Supporting Families Without Bias-- The Hands & Voices Way

One of most frequent questions I'm often asked is how can you support families without bias? I've come across several professionals in the field who give me incredulous looks when I describe the Hands & Voices philosophy:

"Hands & Voices is a nationwide non-profit organization dedicated to supporting families and their children who are deaf or hard of hearing, as well as the professionals who serve them. We are a parent-driven, parent/professional collaborative group that is unbiased towards communication modes and methods. Our diverse membership includes those who are deaf, hard of hearing, and hearing impaired and their families who communicate orally, with signs, cue, and/or combined methods. We exist to help our children reach their highest potential."

Support families without bias? they exclaim. That's impossible! Everyone is biased!

Yes, we all have our personal belief systems, but we cross over into bias when we have a pre-determined outcome in mind for a family when working with them. When we operate with an agenda, no one wins.

In the four years that I've been involved with Hands & Voices, I've had the chance to meet a variety of families who have chosen a variety of modes and methods of communication with their deaf and hard of hearing children. It is this varied and wide exposure that leads to the ability to support families without bias because we've seen families with well-adjusted, successful kids in every communication mode. If you come from only one perspective, it is difficult to see the value in other modes/methods of communication. I have grown and changed my own perspectives as I've worked with families making a variety of choices. The bottom line that families have to face: Can I communicate with my child? Does my child have the ability to turn his thoughts into language and the ability to communicate that?

With infants now being diagnosed with hearing loss on their second day of life, parents have the ability to seek out options and talk with other parents, professionals and deaf/hard of hearing adults without having to quickly make a decision about communication methods/modes. However, in real life practice, especially in the state of Illinois, what's really happening is that parents are referred to a pediatric audiologist and the state's early intervention system which has no control over the bias of information that goes out. Parents are still heavily in contact with professionals in the decision-making stage of their infant's life. In states like Colorado, Wisconsin and Michigan, the early intervention programs have a mix of professionals, parents and deaf/hard of hearing adults under a program called Guide By Your Side.

We also have the current practice of flooding parents with a variety of options and saying to them, "It's your choice, pick one." Parents are at the beginning stage of dealing with feelings, inexperience and a whole host of other factors, some factors which will only reveal themselves with time.

When parents have a good support system in a safe arena, they're going to be open to questions and exploring options and most importantly, looking at their child's perspective of the journey as well. We stress this at Hands & Voices-- that it's not just the parent's journey, it's the child's journey as well. Look at where your child is leading you-- no decision is set in stone and you have the option to make different decisions as your child grows.

My One Paragraph of Fame in the "O" Magazine

I was cranky when I arrived home from subbing today after battling four inches of snow on a rural road. My niece excitedly greeted me by hollering, "You're in Oprah's magazine!"

My mind scrambled to figure out what I sent to the magazine. I had sent out several queries in the last couple of weeks and couldn't remember just what I had sent to the "O" magazine.

As it turns out, my letter to the editor was printed in the March issue of "O" Magazine Just a simple paragraph thanking Oprah for a personal lesson that she shared about weight and food.

It may only be a paragraph, but it sure is nice to open up the pages and see my name in print!

Tyson Foods: Listen Up!

I'm pissed.

My family loves chicken fajitas and we normally make them with chicken breast strips from Trader Joe's. The other day, the hubby and I were at Meijers and decided to grab two bags of Tyson Fajita Chicken Breast strips. After all, as you can see from the Tyson picture below, the white chicken breasts look quite delicious:


But after cooking up the Tyson product, here's how much of the purty white stuff we ended up with:


Did I mention I was pissed?

As I continued to cook the product (which was advertised as fully cooked. I was merely "warming up" the product) the hubby and I began to remove the not-so-delectible selections of meat that we found in the pan:



Yes, that plate on the left is the fatty dark meat that comprised over ninety percent of this supposedly white meat Tyson product.

Oh, I was pissed. And the hubby was too. Twelve dollars of meat and hardly enough to feed a family of six.

But what I'm about to show you is not for the faint of heart. Make sure you're sitting down as you direct your eyes to this next photograph:


Does this even resemble anything close to white chicken breast meat?

Listen up, Tyson foods-- that's deceptive advertising. I won't be buying this product ever again. And I'm betting the readers of this blog won't be, either.

Update:

Tyson responded quickly:

Dear Ms. Putz:

We appreciate your taking the time to share your comments regarding the
chicken fajita strips. I understand your frustration when a product
does not meet expectations.

I visited your blog spot--the pictures helped me to understand part of
the issue. The first picture (from our web site) is a 6 ounce package
of Tyson Fajita Chicken Breast Strips. These are sold refrigerated, not
frozen. The second picture (item that you purchased) is a 20 ounce bag
of frozen Tyson Fajita Chicken Strips. The fajita chicken strips
include both thigh and breast meat.

A report regarding the fatty thigh meat was sent to the Quality
Assurance Manager. I also forwarded your message to the Marketing
Product Manager. Per our product guarantee of satisfaction, a refund
for the two bags will be mailed to you at the address included in your
e-mail. Again, we appreciate your feedback.

Best regards,

Willie D. Barber
Manager, Consumer Information Services
Tyson Foods, Inc.

Note from me: I apparently posted the wrong bag of chicken breast strips, but if you look closely at the bag that I took a picture of-- you can see the same white chicken breasts on the second bag (there's no "breast" in the bag description). Still deceptive advertising!

Update: Tyson followed up with a letter and apology and a check for a full refund. They also sent a coupon for two more bags of Fajita strips.

Uh, no thanks!

Chicago Gets Ready For Another Super Bowl

For the last two weeks, I have been substitute teaching at a local high school. On Friday, I was telling the students about the 1986 Super Bowl. They looked at me with a blank look on their faces and I suddently realized that none of my students were even born when the Chicago Bears went to the Super Bowl in 1986. What a reality check. I remember the 1986 Super Bowl like it was yesterday.

My friend Tena, who was a Honey Bear cheerleader during that Super Bowl, is probably taking a similar reality check today, except she looks just as good today as she did in 1986. You go, Tena!

We are heading over to a deaf party tonight and I look forward to cheering on the Bears and sharing this piece of history with my kids.

On another note, Karen Meyer, ABC reporter, had a feature on a Bears player this morning:
Chicago Bears Player Reaches Out to Children About Stuttering.

Go Bears!

Deaf Teacher Featured in Rocky Mountain News

Susan Elliot, a deaf teacher, serves as a Hands & Voices board member and on the Gallaudet Board of Trustees. She was recently featured in the Rocky Mountain News: Massaro: After a Pal's Suicide, She Chose Life.

I first met Susan via videophone last summer when we were scheduled to give a presentation together at a leadership workshop. It is quite a feat to pull off a presentation with someone you've never met before, but I enjoyed working with her.

Gotta love this quote in the article: "If Elliott ever engaged the battery rabbit in a competition, stretcher bearers would haul off the bunny by halftime." It's true-- Susan has boundless energy!

Here's what a former student has to say: Aspirations Encouraged by an Encounter With A Deaf Teacher.

Social Bluffing--Revisited

Back in February of last year, I posted a question on a listserv about "social bluffing" a term that I came up with to describe the practice of pretending to understand conversation. I had googled the term and found nothing on it in reference to deaf and hard of hearing people so I came up with a definition.

"Social bluffing," as I said in my article, " is pretending to hear or understand something that is being said, and behaving in a way that shows you understand, even when you have little or no clue as to what is being said."

As a result of the discussion that I initiated, someone mentioned that they were going to write an article about it. I was already in the midst of my own article on social bluffing which was printed in the Hands & Voices Communicator (Summer, 2006):

Calling Our Bluff: Using Communication Strategies in Social Situations.

Kathy Allen's Communication Strategies Sidebar

I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery because the article "Bluffing...The (Not So) Social Truth" by Jay Wyant appeared in the January/February issue of Voices, a publication by the Alexander Graham Bell organization. They also included a sidebar of "Tips and Strategies."

But hey, a little credit would have been appreciated.

Chicago Parent Magazine--Wanting to be Heard

This month's issue of Chicago Parent magazine has several articles on parenting deaf and hard of hearing children:

Wanting To Be Heard.

I would have liked to see Illinois Hands & Voices included as a resource in this article. Looks like we'll need more publicity so that every parent in Illinois can know about us.

Magazines and more Magazines-- for Parents

I love magazines. Correction, the hubby and I love magazines. We have piles and piles of magazines in our house and I've actually cut back on the subscriptions that we used to get.

It just dawned on me that I no longer read parenting magazines anymore. When my first child was born, I subscribed to Parents and American Baby. By the time the third child came along (born at home), I was digging into Mothering magazine instead.

Last week, while waiting for my teenager to get his hair trimmed, I thumbed through a couple of different parenting magazines. I remembered the days of trying to get some sleep throughout the night, the huge diaper bag filled with everything under the sun and the countless days of playing "Hunt for the Binky." I can remember turning to my parenting magazines to help me get through the ups and downs of motherhood.

I find myself on "the other side" as I guide some of my friends through their mothering days with their first babies. These are the gals who have finally become mothers late in life. And just as I did years ago, I see the same parenting magazines lying on their coffee tables.

Sound and Fury, Six Years Later-- Purchasing Information

Note: This is a re-post which includes information on how to purchase the film, Sound and Fury, Six Years Later.

When Sound and Fury was released in October, 2000, the movie spurred discussions about cochlear implants all around the nation. The movie covered the story of two brothers who had deaf children. One chose to obtain a cochlear implant for his son, the other decided not to choose that for his daughter.

I saw the movie in Chicago at a film festival with a friend. Never before had I experience a movie that was so raw and up close about the decisions that parents make when raising deaf and hard of hearing children.

Sound and Fury often stayed on my mind, so about a year ago, I decided to get in touch with both families and find out how they were doing. I learned that all of the deaf members of the Artinian family had obtained a cochlear implant, with the exception of Peter. You can read the article here: Sound & Fury: A Family Comes Together Again.
Josh Aronson, the director of the film, has now released a new film: Sound & Fury, Six Years Later. Heather Artinian obtained an implant at the age of nine and the film chronicles her life as a teen. For more information on how to obtain the film, contact Mr. Aronson at: aronsonfilms@aol.com.

On another note, the youngest child to receive an implant is three months old: Music to the Ears.


If you are interested in obtaining a copy of the film, contact Josh Aronson at: Aronsonfilms@aol.com. For schools and libraries, contact: linda@filmakers.com or lbK@aquariusproductions.com.

United States Marines-- The Few, The Proud

Sixty five years ago, on January 23, 1944, my father arrived in the Pacific and began his journey as a United States Marine in World War II. He fought in Guam and Okinawa and then the Occupation of China. He was overseas for two years.

As a child, I used to look through my mother's hope chest and finger the rough wool of his Marine jacket. It wasn't until many years later, that he would share stories about the war. He told of trudging through fields and being so hungry that when they came across a potato field, the guys feasted on the raw potatoes. He recalled the time that he sneaked out to the PX to purchase an ice cream bar, only to hear his commandeer hollering his name. He quickly hid the ice cream bar in his pants pocket only to have to dig out a melted mess a few minutes later.

Many of the war memories were rough ones, and it was difficult for him to share the horror of what he endured.

One summer, the power went out during a storm while my parents were on a trip. They came home and had to clean out a freezer full of meat. The stench, said my dad, reminded him of the war.

Today, my father is in his eighties and has been retired for several years. My oldest brother is also a Marine and he served in Vietnam. The two of them have a special bond--Marine buddies who have shared a piece of history.

Ellen Roth's Article in Oprah Magazine

Ellen Roth, a Chicago area resident, had her story published in the Oprah magazine. Ellen obtained a cochlear implant and shared the new sounds that she experienced with it. Jayne Dough put the story on her blog (scroll down to the January 20th entry): Ellen Roth, My Story.

Waterskiing Memories

A few nights ago, the hubby was flipping through channels and he came across Stunt Junkies, a program on the Discovery channel. The episode featured Scott Ellis, who was attempting to break a waterskiing jump record by jumping over more than fourteen boats.

As I watched Scott break the record by jumping over a total of nineteen boats, I started thinking back to my own waterskiing days on Christie Lake. I had always dreamed of skiing in shows such as the ones held at Tommy Barlett's or Cypress Gardens but I didn't have the guts to follow the dreams.

The summer that I turned sixteen, I decided that I would learn how to barefoot--to waterski on my own bare feet. At first, I tried using a waterski and kicking off the ski, but I found myself hitting the water face first. After too many face slams, I decided there had to be a better way. So thumbed through the pages of a barefooting book and learned about the "kneeboard start." I dragged my mom to a local boat shop and we purchased a kneeboard.

After a couple of days of trying, I finally planted my feet in the water and stood up. The kneeboard fell away and I suddenly found myself barefooting. I didn't get very far, perhaps a few hundred feet. As I climbed into the boat, I learned that my friend Michele had the throttle wide open and the boat was moving at 39 mph instead of the 33 mph that we were aiming for. No wonder my feet were burning on such a short run.

For the next three years after that, I waterskied and barefooted every chance that I could. I often barefooted with the other guys on the lake, competing to see who could make it all the way around the lake. One of the guys taught me to do a deepwater start which involved wrapping my feet around the rope, gliding on my back and then getting up on my bare feet.

I have to thank my parents for all the gas they bought-- some days we skied up to eight times a day.






I'm now in my early forties and I haven't barefooted in several years. My only consolation is that no other girl/woman on Christie Lake has successfully barefooted, so I still hold the title of the sole woman barefooter. My goal is to get back into barefooting-- especially after seeing Scott Ellis jump a couple of boats. He's got the same amount of gray hair that I do.

But for some real inspiration, check out Banana George--he's 91 years old and still footin!

Are You On The Fence?

Mark Drolsbaugh, author of Deaf Again and Anything But Silent has written a new book: On The Fence: The Hidden World of the Hard of Hearing.

The stories (I have contributed mine in this book) and poems contributed by thirty-seven writers show a variety of experiences including what it is like to be "on the fence"--between people who are cuturally Deaf and people with normal hearing.

"Living with even just a little hearing loss," writes Mark in the book, "is without a doubt one of the most invisible, forgotten, isolating, and misunderstood life experiences which humans can go through. It is as if life slams a glass door in the face of hard of hearing people, putting them in a situation where they can see life happening around them but have little chance to participate."

I experienced my own "on the fence" period when I first transferred to Northern Illinois University. I grew up hard of hearing, with no knowledge of American Sign Language or contact with the deaf community. The summer before I transferred, I became profoundly deaf. At Northern, I was surrounded by many students who were deaf and hard of hearing and began to learn ASL. So for a while there, I tried to figure out who I was and where I fit in.

Today, some people percieve me as being "on the fence" as a hard of hearing person. Some say I'm deaf, others say I'm Deaf. It's a matter of perspective and where the person is coming from.

The way I see it, everyone without hearing in the normal range is in this together. Diversity is a good thing.

So grab your copy of On The Fence here and check out the variety of perspectives and stories.

Flylady Would Be So Proud

It's a new year and with every new year, I'm always determined to make some positive changes. I always have the same vows: I will take control of the messes in my house, learn to effectively use my time and sculpt my body in the likeness of Christie Brinkley's.

The same resolutions keep popping up year after year. I guess I'm not very effective at accomplishing them. However, the Putz household experienced a rare phenomenon recently. Take a look:


Yes, I managed to discover the bottom of the sink. It was a startling sight to see it empty. One of the tips at Flylady.com is to accomplish this very feat each day. The idea is that you will clean your sink, go to bed with a sense of accomplishment and wake up the next morning with a shining sink.

Ah, but I overlooked some very critical information in her Babysteps suggestion about the sink: you have to train everyone else in the household to embrace shiny sinks.

I forgot to notify everyone else in the Putz household of the importance of shiny sinks. Silly me.

So I woke up to half of the contents of my kitchen cabinets piled in the sink, courtesy of five kids and a 22-year old niece.

And it's only 8:30 a.m.

Let the training begin.

An Encounter With A Rude Customer

My friend Lisa works at Jewel Food Stores as a cashier. She was born profoundly deaf but was able to benefit from hearing aids while growing up. Two years ago, her ability to use her hearing aids suddenly stopped and she obtained a cochlear implant. She is slowly learning to use the phone again but the majority of her communication understanding comes via lipreading/speechreading.

She started at Jewel bagging groceries and within a short time, she was promoted to cashier. She wears a nameplate that lets customers know that they must face her when speaking.

One day, she had a tall customer with white hair who looked remarkably like Cruella, the mean lady from 101 Dalmations. The customer asked for cash back in the amount of just a dollar. "I thought that was odd," said Lisa. "Usually people ask for ten or twenty dollar amounts."

As she finished ringing up the sale, the customer looked at Lisa and demanded her book of stamps.

Lisa apologized for missing her request, explaining that she was deaf and didn't hear her.

"Then why are you working here?" the customer said loudly.

Lisa stared at her in shock, but quickly recovered.

"Excuse me, lady!" she shot back. "That's discrimination! I worked my way up and I deserve this job!"

After "Cruella" took off, the customer behind her remarked, "I can't believe there are still some people like that!"

Needless to say, "Cruella" no longer gets in Lisa's line when she does her weekly shopping.

Want Some Bingo Tickets?

Twice in the last several weeks, I have volunteered my time at the local Bingo hall. In exchange for my time selling tickets, I received a discount on my daughter's volleyball team fee.

There were about sixty people in attendance and from 5:30 to 9 p.m., my job was to walk around the room and sell tickets for various games and raffles. Many of the people who were at my first session were also at the second session, several weeks apart. Apparently Bingo is quite entertaining to these folks.

The tickets were simple enough at first. Each ticket sold for a dollar. As I walked around the room, people would either ask, "I'd like some tickets" or they would motion for me to come over. What I wasn't aware of, was that each ticket had different strategies for winning. For example, a "B row" ticket had to turn up the numbers seven and eleven to win. "Treasure Island" required a two in the first number to win. Apparently this was explained while I was hanging up my coat and putting on my Bingo apron.

I quickly learned that I was missing some information the first time someone asked, "What's the numbers?" Since I had no clue what was being asked, I didn't understand the question and asked the person to repeat it, explaining that I was deaf. "What numbers am I looking for to win?" she grumbled. I had to quickly scramble to gather the information and figure out what I was supposed to know.

Bingo is serious business. A large amount of money is spent among just a few participants. Many of the regulars brought in colored Bingo bottles to stamp their cards with, often carried in a round Bingo bag with a slot for each bottle. One lady actually had a small bag on wheels. A few patrons display lucky charms to increase their luck. Some of the older folks brought in their dinner and read the newspaper in between games. One couple played cards while simultaneously stamping their Bingo cards-- talk about multi-tasking!

It was interesting dealing with so many different people. Most of time, selling the tickets went without incident as I was able to lipread the majority of the requests. If I didn't understand the amount, I would look at the amount of money being tossed over and then confirm the number of tickets verbally. There were a few people who automatically took me down a few IQ notches when I would explain that I was deaf and needed a question repeated. They would become impatient and avoid buying tickets from me. Others adapted by holding up their fingers to show the amount they wanted whenever I would come near. One guy seemed to feel sorry for me, he responded with a sad-looking "Oh..." when I explained that I was deaf.

And he probably bought more tickets than he wanted to.

A Friendship Cut Short

Time as I've known it
Doesn't take much time to pass by me
Minutes into days
Turn into months
Turn into years
They hurry by me

I was cleaning out a drawer full of pictures and I came across an envelope with several pictures inside. The pictures were of Tod Morris and my husband, just a few weeks before Tod's life ended.

As I gazed at the pictures, I started getting some flashbacks of memories. Tod was my husband's buddy, a big guy with a huge smile and a distinctive laugh. As deaf as we were, we could pick out Tod's laugh in a room full of people. He had a gutteral laugh, a series of "heh, heh, heh, heh" that would make you chuckle in response. Whenever someone would describe Tod to another person, they never failed to imitate his laugh using signs and facial expressions.

I met Tod when I was just learning to sign. I had just become profoundly deaf the summer before and was easily intimidated by my husband's friends that first year. My husband's friend Mike, also a buddy of Tod's, was a speed demon with his mouth as well as his signing. Occasionally, Joe and Tod would interpret what Mike was saying/signing so that I could keep up.

Every Christmas break, Tod would hang out at Joe's house and we would watch movies together. An athlete who was always in motion, Tod would poke at my stomach and berate me to do sit-ups. "Don't you want to have a flat stomach like my girlfriend?" he would tease. I would just roll my eyes at him and suck in my stomach.

One year, we had gotten a video camera for Christmas. Kent, another friend of my husband's was in town and the three of them started clowning around for the camera. We ended up with an impromptu "Don't Do Drugs" commercial, with Tod providing the hilarious laughs.

As the years sailed by, we shared weddings and new additions to our families. Tod lived in St. Louis and we occasionally spent time together whenever they would travel to Michigan and Illinois to see his family.

Dreams full of promises
Hopes for the future
I've had many

Dreams I can't remember now
Hopes that I've forgotten
Faded memories

Then one day, we received a message from Cathy, his wife. "Tod has cancer. He only has a couple of months to live."

Tod had felt a lump in his neck early that summer. He was diagnosed with cancer in December of 2001. So early in 2002, we started making plans to head down to St. Louis to spend some time with Tod. His sister flew in from California and a bunch of us drove down. It was a magical weekend of memories and enjoying the time together. We played poker and reminisced about good times. Around midnight, we stood around looking outside. The snow had fallen and the moon was out. The trees glistened and everything had a surreal glow.

(From left to right: Tod's sister, Kristy, Mark, Joe, Mike, Ron and Tod)


Still I love to see the sun go down
And the world go around
I love to see the morning as it steals across the sky
I love to remember
And I love to wonder why

The next morning, we all went for breakfast at the local Denny's with a couple of St. Louis locals. We laughed, we chatted and connected. Little did we know that time was truly running out.

The next day, Tod went into the hospital. He received some terrible news.

He had just a month left.

We had talked about going to Disney World together, but we dashed those plans. Tod was too sick. Joe and I drove down for a final day with Tod at the end of February. It was a heartbreaking visit. On March 4, 2002 Tod passed away, just a few days shy of his birthday. His daughter Emily was three and his son Jason was just a few months old.



Today, Cathy, Emily and Jason are doing well and still living in St. Louis.

Tod Morris Memorial

(The quoted song is "Around and Around" by John Denver. The above picture was taken by one of Tod's friends. Tod loved to be on the water and he loved to fish.)

Home Depot CEO Walks Off With 210 Million

I'm sure Bob Nardelli is laughing all the way to the bank. The Home Depot CEO was given the boot after six years of keeping Home Depot stores in their messy state. As a nice going-away present, the board gave Nardelli some parting money to the tune of 210 million bucks.

Why should I care?

Last year, Home Depot took up a large chunk of my time. A simple refund in the form of a store credit turned into weeks of store visits, which lead to this Epinion: No More Home Depot for Us! The final straw was a rude encounter with a manager who refused to give us the sale price on a product that was deceptively advertised as being on sale.

In the area where I live, Home Depot was the nearest home improvement store for several years. It was the default store that we ran to when we needed supplies to finish our basement. We learned to navigate the messy aisles in the same way we navigated around our home: by stepping over piles and squeezing around aisle displays to reach products.

As a result of our weeks of returning to the store to haggle for our refund, we were able to chat with employees and learned that the morale among employees was low. They pointed fingers at the CEO, who apparently came in cracking a whip and expecting performance with low reward. Someone forgot to tell Nardelli that the real problem is customer service and the inability to find a product in the store. Make your customers happy and they'll keep returning.

Nardelli's dismissal has come too late for our family.

We now shop at Lowes and Menards.

"Alone In The Mainstream" Makes an Impact

"After I wrote yesterday's entry," says Sarah, in her blog, The 8th Nerve, "I ended up on the bathroom floor in a fetal position. That is the only position we are capable of when a lifetime of pain is finally allowed to pour through the body in a few moments. This is the beginning, after 28 years, of my acceptance of my hearing loss. Acceptance of the fact that I truly have a loss that can never be changed. In retrospect, it is unbelievable to me that I never emotionally processed any of this before."

I found Sarah's blog through a comment that she left on mine. She had Googled "Alone In The Mainstream A Deaf Woman Remembers Public School" and found my review of Gina Oliva's book.

As I read through Sarah's blog, my heart went out to her as she shared the beginning of her journey of acceptance-- after 28 years, she was just now examining her life as a solitaire, a term that Gina Oliva uses to describe those who grew up having little or no contact with others who are deaf and hard of hearing. But an important point to note is that working through the pain paves the way for new explorations on the road to acceptance. Perhaps this will be a turning point for her and a chance to meet others that she can connect with.

Gina's book also made an impact here: What's That You Said?

And a New Year Begins

Good gosh, today is January 2nd. Already.

This year is flying by too fast.

On Sunday night, we had a couple of friends over to ring in the new year. It was one of those last minute affairs, with an email sent out a few days before. With the lack of babysitters, the logical solution was to just get together and bring all the kids. Everyone brought something to share and there was plenty of food to go around.

Food and friends, you can't beat that combination.

As I was running around tossing buffalo wings into the oven and the other gals were filling up bowls and platters, I briefly thought back through the years to another New Year's Eve party that I attended in high school. Everyone at this 1981 party had normal hearing. Most of the people there were from my swim team, including a guy that I absolutely adored. I was relatively comfortable with them, but the noisy environment and fast-flowing conversations meant that I couldn't follow conversations. So I found myself social bluffing my way through conversations. Of course, with all the under-aged drinking going on, it was easy for everyone to simply assume that I had too much to drink and was just spacing out instead of talking. I felt like the "real" me was hidden because I wasn't able to speak my mind or contribute to the group conversations.

I left that party wishing I had normal hearing.

Fast forward to Sunday's party. Despite the shrieking of a dozen kids, the blaring of the tv and some loud voices, I'm able to have a conversation with everyone there. Everyone's deaf, hard of hearing or a child of deaf/hard of hearing adults. We're a mish-mash of communication modes, but everyone signs. There's a comfort I can't explain, but it must be the same ease that people with normal hearing have when they gather in groups as well; they're not straining to "hear" or follow conversation. They're not limiting their involvement in group conversation because of a physical inability to converse.

So on Sunday, I was able to argue the merits of investing in retail stock, discuss new recipes and debate the future without missing a word or straining to understand a conversation. Quite a long way from the high school party where I left feeling like a large chunk of my life was missing.

So here's to 2007. If anyone reading this is feeling the same way that I did back in 1981-- here's to some new friendships and hoping that you will find a group of friends to connect with that will have you saying, "Ah, life is good."