Waterskiing Memories

A few nights ago, the hubby was flipping through channels and he came across Stunt Junkies, a program on the Discovery channel. The episode featured Scott Ellis, who was attempting to break a waterskiing jump record by jumping over more than fourteen boats.

As I watched Scott break the record by jumping over a total of nineteen boats, I started thinking back to my own waterskiing days on Christie Lake. I had always dreamed of skiing in shows such as the ones held at Tommy Barlett's or Cypress Gardens but I didn't have the guts to follow the dreams.

The summer that I turned sixteen, I decided that I would learn how to barefoot--to waterski on my own bare feet. At first, I tried using a waterski and kicking off the ski, but I found myself hitting the water face first. After too many face slams, I decided there had to be a better way. So thumbed through the pages of a barefooting book and learned about the "kneeboard start." I dragged my mom to a local boat shop and we purchased a kneeboard.

After a couple of days of trying, I finally planted my feet in the water and stood up. The kneeboard fell away and I suddenly found myself barefooting. I didn't get very far, perhaps a few hundred feet. As I climbed into the boat, I learned that my friend Michele had the throttle wide open and the boat was moving at 39 mph instead of the 33 mph that we were aiming for. No wonder my feet were burning on such a short run.

For the next three years after that, I waterskied and barefooted every chance that I could. I often barefooted with the other guys on the lake, competing to see who could make it all the way around the lake. One of the guys taught me to do a deepwater start which involved wrapping my feet around the rope, gliding on my back and then getting up on my bare feet.

I have to thank my parents for all the gas they bought-- some days we skied up to eight times a day.






I'm now in my early forties and I haven't barefooted in several years. My only consolation is that no other girl/woman on Christie Lake has successfully barefooted, so I still hold the title of the sole woman barefooter. My goal is to get back into barefooting-- especially after seeing Scott Ellis jump a couple of boats. He's got the same amount of gray hair that I do.

But for some real inspiration, check out Banana George--he's 91 years old and still footin!

Are You On The Fence?

Mark Drolsbaugh, author of Deaf Again and Anything But Silent has written a new book: On The Fence: The Hidden World of the Hard of Hearing.

The stories (I have contributed mine in this book) and poems contributed by thirty-seven writers show a variety of experiences including what it is like to be "on the fence"--between people who are cuturally Deaf and people with normal hearing.

"Living with even just a little hearing loss," writes Mark in the book, "is without a doubt one of the most invisible, forgotten, isolating, and misunderstood life experiences which humans can go through. It is as if life slams a glass door in the face of hard of hearing people, putting them in a situation where they can see life happening around them but have little chance to participate."

I experienced my own "on the fence" period when I first transferred to Northern Illinois University. I grew up hard of hearing, with no knowledge of American Sign Language or contact with the deaf community. The summer before I transferred, I became profoundly deaf. At Northern, I was surrounded by many students who were deaf and hard of hearing and began to learn ASL. So for a while there, I tried to figure out who I was and where I fit in.

Today, some people percieve me as being "on the fence" as a hard of hearing person. Some say I'm deaf, others say I'm Deaf. It's a matter of perspective and where the person is coming from.

The way I see it, everyone without hearing in the normal range is in this together. Diversity is a good thing.

So grab your copy of On The Fence here and check out the variety of perspectives and stories.

Flylady Would Be So Proud

It's a new year and with every new year, I'm always determined to make some positive changes. I always have the same vows: I will take control of the messes in my house, learn to effectively use my time and sculpt my body in the likeness of Christie Brinkley's.

The same resolutions keep popping up year after year. I guess I'm not very effective at accomplishing them. However, the Putz household experienced a rare phenomenon recently. Take a look:


Yes, I managed to discover the bottom of the sink. It was a startling sight to see it empty. One of the tips at Flylady.com is to accomplish this very feat each day. The idea is that you will clean your sink, go to bed with a sense of accomplishment and wake up the next morning with a shining sink.

Ah, but I overlooked some very critical information in her Babysteps suggestion about the sink: you have to train everyone else in the household to embrace shiny sinks.

I forgot to notify everyone else in the Putz household of the importance of shiny sinks. Silly me.

So I woke up to half of the contents of my kitchen cabinets piled in the sink, courtesy of five kids and a 22-year old niece.

And it's only 8:30 a.m.

Let the training begin.

An Encounter With A Rude Customer

My friend Lisa works at Jewel Food Stores as a cashier. She was born profoundly deaf but was able to benefit from hearing aids while growing up. Two years ago, her ability to use her hearing aids suddenly stopped and she obtained a cochlear implant. She is slowly learning to use the phone again but the majority of her communication understanding comes via lipreading/speechreading.

She started at Jewel bagging groceries and within a short time, she was promoted to cashier. She wears a nameplate that lets customers know that they must face her when speaking.

One day, she had a tall customer with white hair who looked remarkably like Cruella, the mean lady from 101 Dalmations. The customer asked for cash back in the amount of just a dollar. "I thought that was odd," said Lisa. "Usually people ask for ten or twenty dollar amounts."

As she finished ringing up the sale, the customer looked at Lisa and demanded her book of stamps.

Lisa apologized for missing her request, explaining that she was deaf and didn't hear her.

"Then why are you working here?" the customer said loudly.

Lisa stared at her in shock, but quickly recovered.

"Excuse me, lady!" she shot back. "That's discrimination! I worked my way up and I deserve this job!"

After "Cruella" took off, the customer behind her remarked, "I can't believe there are still some people like that!"

Needless to say, "Cruella" no longer gets in Lisa's line when she does her weekly shopping.

Want Some Bingo Tickets?

Twice in the last several weeks, I have volunteered my time at the local Bingo hall. In exchange for my time selling tickets, I received a discount on my daughter's volleyball team fee.

There were about sixty people in attendance and from 5:30 to 9 p.m., my job was to walk around the room and sell tickets for various games and raffles. Many of the people who were at my first session were also at the second session, several weeks apart. Apparently Bingo is quite entertaining to these folks.

The tickets were simple enough at first. Each ticket sold for a dollar. As I walked around the room, people would either ask, "I'd like some tickets" or they would motion for me to come over. What I wasn't aware of, was that each ticket had different strategies for winning. For example, a "B row" ticket had to turn up the numbers seven and eleven to win. "Treasure Island" required a two in the first number to win. Apparently this was explained while I was hanging up my coat and putting on my Bingo apron.

I quickly learned that I was missing some information the first time someone asked, "What's the numbers?" Since I had no clue what was being asked, I didn't understand the question and asked the person to repeat it, explaining that I was deaf. "What numbers am I looking for to win?" she grumbled. I had to quickly scramble to gather the information and figure out what I was supposed to know.

Bingo is serious business. A large amount of money is spent among just a few participants. Many of the regulars brought in colored Bingo bottles to stamp their cards with, often carried in a round Bingo bag with a slot for each bottle. One lady actually had a small bag on wheels. A few patrons display lucky charms to increase their luck. Some of the older folks brought in their dinner and read the newspaper in between games. One couple played cards while simultaneously stamping their Bingo cards-- talk about multi-tasking!

It was interesting dealing with so many different people. Most of time, selling the tickets went without incident as I was able to lipread the majority of the requests. If I didn't understand the amount, I would look at the amount of money being tossed over and then confirm the number of tickets verbally. There were a few people who automatically took me down a few IQ notches when I would explain that I was deaf and needed a question repeated. They would become impatient and avoid buying tickets from me. Others adapted by holding up their fingers to show the amount they wanted whenever I would come near. One guy seemed to feel sorry for me, he responded with a sad-looking "Oh..." when I explained that I was deaf.

And he probably bought more tickets than he wanted to.

A Friendship Cut Short

Time as I've known it
Doesn't take much time to pass by me
Minutes into days
Turn into months
Turn into years
They hurry by me

I was cleaning out a drawer full of pictures and I came across an envelope with several pictures inside. The pictures were of Tod Morris and my husband, just a few weeks before Tod's life ended.

As I gazed at the pictures, I started getting some flashbacks of memories. Tod was my husband's buddy, a big guy with a huge smile and a distinctive laugh. As deaf as we were, we could pick out Tod's laugh in a room full of people. He had a gutteral laugh, a series of "heh, heh, heh, heh" that would make you chuckle in response. Whenever someone would describe Tod to another person, they never failed to imitate his laugh using signs and facial expressions.

I met Tod when I was just learning to sign. I had just become profoundly deaf the summer before and was easily intimidated by my husband's friends that first year. My husband's friend Mike, also a buddy of Tod's, was a speed demon with his mouth as well as his signing. Occasionally, Joe and Tod would interpret what Mike was saying/signing so that I could keep up.

Every Christmas break, Tod would hang out at Joe's house and we would watch movies together. An athlete who was always in motion, Tod would poke at my stomach and berate me to do sit-ups. "Don't you want to have a flat stomach like my girlfriend?" he would tease. I would just roll my eyes at him and suck in my stomach.

One year, we had gotten a video camera for Christmas. Kent, another friend of my husband's was in town and the three of them started clowning around for the camera. We ended up with an impromptu "Don't Do Drugs" commercial, with Tod providing the hilarious laughs.

As the years sailed by, we shared weddings and new additions to our families. Tod lived in St. Louis and we occasionally spent time together whenever they would travel to Michigan and Illinois to see his family.

Dreams full of promises
Hopes for the future
I've had many

Dreams I can't remember now
Hopes that I've forgotten
Faded memories

Then one day, we received a message from Cathy, his wife. "Tod has cancer. He only has a couple of months to live."

Tod had felt a lump in his neck early that summer. He was diagnosed with cancer in December of 2001. So early in 2002, we started making plans to head down to St. Louis to spend some time with Tod. His sister flew in from California and a bunch of us drove down. It was a magical weekend of memories and enjoying the time together. We played poker and reminisced about good times. Around midnight, we stood around looking outside. The snow had fallen and the moon was out. The trees glistened and everything had a surreal glow.

(From left to right: Tod's sister, Kristy, Mark, Joe, Mike, Ron and Tod)


Still I love to see the sun go down
And the world go around
I love to see the morning as it steals across the sky
I love to remember
And I love to wonder why

The next morning, we all went for breakfast at the local Denny's with a couple of St. Louis locals. We laughed, we chatted and connected. Little did we know that time was truly running out.

The next day, Tod went into the hospital. He received some terrible news.

He had just a month left.

We had talked about going to Disney World together, but we dashed those plans. Tod was too sick. Joe and I drove down for a final day with Tod at the end of February. It was a heartbreaking visit. On March 4, 2002 Tod passed away, just a few days shy of his birthday. His daughter Emily was three and his son Jason was just a few months old.



Today, Cathy, Emily and Jason are doing well and still living in St. Louis.

Tod Morris Memorial

(The quoted song is "Around and Around" by John Denver. The above picture was taken by one of Tod's friends. Tod loved to be on the water and he loved to fish.)

Home Depot CEO Walks Off With 210 Million

I'm sure Bob Nardelli is laughing all the way to the bank. The Home Depot CEO was given the boot after six years of keeping Home Depot stores in their messy state. As a nice going-away present, the board gave Nardelli some parting money to the tune of 210 million bucks.

Why should I care?

Last year, Home Depot took up a large chunk of my time. A simple refund in the form of a store credit turned into weeks of store visits, which lead to this Epinion: No More Home Depot for Us! The final straw was a rude encounter with a manager who refused to give us the sale price on a product that was deceptively advertised as being on sale.

In the area where I live, Home Depot was the nearest home improvement store for several years. It was the default store that we ran to when we needed supplies to finish our basement. We learned to navigate the messy aisles in the same way we navigated around our home: by stepping over piles and squeezing around aisle displays to reach products.

As a result of our weeks of returning to the store to haggle for our refund, we were able to chat with employees and learned that the morale among employees was low. They pointed fingers at the CEO, who apparently came in cracking a whip and expecting performance with low reward. Someone forgot to tell Nardelli that the real problem is customer service and the inability to find a product in the store. Make your customers happy and they'll keep returning.

Nardelli's dismissal has come too late for our family.

We now shop at Lowes and Menards.

"Alone In The Mainstream" Makes an Impact

"After I wrote yesterday's entry," says Sarah, in her blog, The 8th Nerve, "I ended up on the bathroom floor in a fetal position. That is the only position we are capable of when a lifetime of pain is finally allowed to pour through the body in a few moments. This is the beginning, after 28 years, of my acceptance of my hearing loss. Acceptance of the fact that I truly have a loss that can never be changed. In retrospect, it is unbelievable to me that I never emotionally processed any of this before."

I found Sarah's blog through a comment that she left on mine. She had Googled "Alone In The Mainstream A Deaf Woman Remembers Public School" and found my review of Gina Oliva's book.

As I read through Sarah's blog, my heart went out to her as she shared the beginning of her journey of acceptance-- after 28 years, she was just now examining her life as a solitaire, a term that Gina Oliva uses to describe those who grew up having little or no contact with others who are deaf and hard of hearing. But an important point to note is that working through the pain paves the way for new explorations on the road to acceptance. Perhaps this will be a turning point for her and a chance to meet others that she can connect with.

Gina's book also made an impact here: What's That You Said?

And a New Year Begins

Good gosh, today is January 2nd. Already.

This year is flying by too fast.

On Sunday night, we had a couple of friends over to ring in the new year. It was one of those last minute affairs, with an email sent out a few days before. With the lack of babysitters, the logical solution was to just get together and bring all the kids. Everyone brought something to share and there was plenty of food to go around.

Food and friends, you can't beat that combination.

As I was running around tossing buffalo wings into the oven and the other gals were filling up bowls and platters, I briefly thought back through the years to another New Year's Eve party that I attended in high school. Everyone at this 1981 party had normal hearing. Most of the people there were from my swim team, including a guy that I absolutely adored. I was relatively comfortable with them, but the noisy environment and fast-flowing conversations meant that I couldn't follow conversations. So I found myself social bluffing my way through conversations. Of course, with all the under-aged drinking going on, it was easy for everyone to simply assume that I had too much to drink and was just spacing out instead of talking. I felt like the "real" me was hidden because I wasn't able to speak my mind or contribute to the group conversations.

I left that party wishing I had normal hearing.

Fast forward to Sunday's party. Despite the shrieking of a dozen kids, the blaring of the tv and some loud voices, I'm able to have a conversation with everyone there. Everyone's deaf, hard of hearing or a child of deaf/hard of hearing adults. We're a mish-mash of communication modes, but everyone signs. There's a comfort I can't explain, but it must be the same ease that people with normal hearing have when they gather in groups as well; they're not straining to "hear" or follow conversation. They're not limiting their involvement in group conversation because of a physical inability to converse.

So on Sunday, I was able to argue the merits of investing in retail stock, discuss new recipes and debate the future without missing a word or straining to understand a conversation. Quite a long way from the high school party where I left feeling like a large chunk of my life was missing.

So here's to 2007. If anyone reading this is feeling the same way that I did back in 1981-- here's to some new friendships and hoping that you will find a group of friends to connect with that will have you saying, "Ah, life is good."

Remembering Who Helped You

This morning, while waiting for an email to show up, I did my usual surfing the net for new writers who are deaf and hard of hearing.

I stumbled upon Stephen Hopson's Squidoo Lens: Adversity University. This lead me to his blog which stated: I'm a former award-winning Wall Street stockbroker turned motivational speaker, writer and pilot. In Feb 2006, I became the first deaf pilot in in the world to earn an instrument rating.

I especially enjoyed his article, "Remember Who Helped You Along The Way." There are two itinerant teachers who stand out in my memory: Mrs. Rellis and Mrs. Sweeney. Mrs. Rellis worked with me during my first two years in high school. At first, I did not enjoy our sessions. I didn't like being pulled out of class for "extra help." Mrs. Rellis didn't give up. She quickly learned to make our sessions fun and informative. She taught me a few words in Italian as she related her plans for a trip to Italy. She found ways to talk to me about my feelings and gently made me face the issues I had with being hard of hearing. She connected me to Shawn, another student who also had hearing aids and she became my first friend that I could truly relate to about hearing loss.

I was heartbroken when Mrs. Rellis told me that I was getting a new teacher two years later, but I learned to enjoy Mrs. Sweeney as well. Mrs. Sweeney discovered my love for writing and she encouraged me to write in different ways. During our final session at the end of high school, she took me out to lunch and presented me with a blank journal. That journal is one of my treasured possessions today.

So, as Stephen Hopson suggested, remember who helped you along the way. Do you have a story to share about a special someone?

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays to everyone!

We just returned from Michigan and Oak Forest, spending time with both sides of the family. I'm looking forward to having the kids at home for the next two weeks. The house is filled with the usual after-Christmas chaos, half of the stuff here and the other half there and one happy chew-anything dog who is getting into everything. The kids are already clamoring for batteries, screwdrivers and scissors and it's only eight a.m.

I'm crawling back into bed instead.

Working as a Deaf Mentor

When people ask me, "What do you do," I usually reply that I work in early intervention. I work as a Deaf Mentor. The definition, from the Hearing and Vision Connections website is: Deaf Mentors are enrolled under Family Support, but are not credentialed. They are available to go into the home, ideally working in close coordination with a DT(Developmental Therapist)/Hearing provider, to share personal experiences, teach sign language or the family's chosen method of communication, and introduce information about having a hearing loss, the Deaf community and Deaf culture.

I have been doing this for three years, serving about 25 families from birth to age three. I am seeing a major trend: the majority of families with babies with profound hearing loss are choosing implants. In Chicago recently, a seven-month old baby received two cochlear implants . Some of the kids with implants take right off with listening and spoken language. For others, it's a slower process and the results are not as immediate. For some families, the implant does not work for their child.

I really do enjoy working with the variety of families on a weekly or monthly basis but I'm sometimes the resource of last resort. Sometimes I will receive referrals to families when the children are almost three. Some of the families are quite a distance from my home, so I'm often on the road for long periods of time. I'm self-employed, which means that I handle my own billing and take a tax write off on the number of miles I commute.

The most rewarding aspect of the job is seeing the communication and language development that happens with each child and family. I love it when a mom or dad tells me, "My child said/signed 'I love you!'"

Reflections of a Basketball Game

Steven, my youngest kiddo, had a basketball game on Saturday and we headed over to the gym a few minutes before game time. The night before, he came up to me and said, "I don't want to go to the game, Mom."

So we sat down to talk about it.

Turns out, he becomes extremely nervous before the games. He's an excellent athlete, but the jumbling of nerves gets in the way of his playing skill. "I don't want to play basketball anymore," he declared.

My heart sank. I knew that he really loved to play because he was a totally different kid at the local YMCA, when playing for fun with his family. What was really going on? Could it be, I suspected, the difficulty with understanding what was being said during the game?

Steven has a moderate-to-severe hearing loss. He is able to use his voice well, which leads others to think that he can understand conversation at every level in every situation.

Not so.

Let me share my experience. I teach a class in Conversational Sign Language at the local community college. A few weeks ago, we combined classes with another instructor and showed a video by Peter Cook. During the discussion afterwards, a question about varying types of hearing loss came up. I explained that I was completely deaf without my hearing aids but that my hearing aids gave me access to environmental sounds. I rely almost 100% on lipreading in conversations.

"But how can that be," asked one student. "You speak so well."

So I asked the student to say something to me while I turned around. "Eye Are a oyee ahin ee ah."

Turns out she said, "Hi Karen, thank you for teaching class."

The student had a speechless look on her face. Suddenly, she understood what things sounded like to me and how much information had to be delivered visually for communication.

I hear mostly vowels. Lipreading/speechreading gives me visual clues which I piece together with the sounds coming in and fill in the blanks by understanding the context of what is being said. You can read more about it here: Yo, I'm Deaf!

While Steven hears much better than I ever did while growing up, I suspected that he was losing his ability to discriminate words. I was right; a recent hearing test showed that his ability to understand words by hearing alone dropped to about 38 percent.

It was too late to grab an interpreter for Saturday's game so I talked with the coach. I explained about the drop in Steven's ability to comprehend speech. The coach shared that he was totally deaf in one ear, something that he didn't tell us before. So he took Steven aside and told him and Steven's face lit up. He suddenly had a connection with the coach that he didn't have before and it seemed to put him at ease a bit.

Yet, the jumble of nerves was still there as Steven started the game. I had to sit back and remind myself that he was kid, that perhaps this would be the same thing we'd face even if he had normal hearing. Sometimes it's hard to figure out the difference.

But anyway, let me brag. Steven's team won the game and he made one beautiful, swish shot from near the three-point line.

That's my boy.

Karen Meyer-- A Chicago Reporter Who is Deaf

Tune into WLS Channel 7 in the Chicago area on Thursdays and Sundays and you'll find Karen Meyer reporting on people with disabilities.

Karen is deaf and has been doing the news since 1991, producing 104 stories per year. The current news segments can be viewed weekly, with the links to older stories found here: Karen Meyer News Segments.

For more information about Karen: Achieving Dreams Through Persistance.

The BookHands Holiday Pick

On Saturday night, ten of us from the BookHands book club gathered at my house for our annual holiday party.

The book for the night was Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog a beautifully-written story about a loveable yellow lab named Marley. Everyone gave it a thumbs up, including the gals who never had a dog as a pet.

During the discussion, we shared stories of our own pets. One of the gals, Patti, brought in pictures of her dogs. Years ago, she owned a lab named Penny, who was so like Marley that she felt she could have written the same book. She was newly married and her husband wasn't particularly fond of Penny. One day, Penny tugged at some newspaper on the floor and tipped over a can of white paint that was loosely covered. Paint seeped into the wooden floor. Patti cleaned up the paint the best she could, but they ended up refinishing the floor. Her husband wasn't too pleased, but over the years, he learned to accept Penny as part of the family.

If there's one book that you buy for the holidays-- pick up Marley and Me. I enjoyed this book so much that I had to share an Epinion: Marley and Me, Your Heart Will Be Captured.

On another note, this weekend was a weekend of splurging on chocolate and cookies in a major way. Lauren attended a birthday party where the girls made cookies for several hours. Here's what she brought home:

Needless to say, there isn't much left on Monday morning.

A Mother-Son Bonding Moment

I had a bonding moment with my 13-year-old son recently. A few weeks ago, I casually mentioned that he might like the Weird Al Yankovic videos and songs. He gave me his customary eye-roll and his "W" sign for Whatever, Mom.

I loved the Weird Al parodies of Michael Jackson's Eat It and Thriller songs when I was a few years (ahem!) younger. Back then, I had to beg a friend to write down lyrics to songs and none of the videos were captioned on MTV.

Then a few days ago, David excitedly motioned me to come into the office. "Look mom, you gotta see this. It's hilarious!" On the computer screen he pulled up Weird Al's White and Nerdy. Being the typical clueless Mom, I had never heard of Ridin' Dirty by Charmillionaire, the song that is parodied by Weird Al. David pulled up the lyrics and started the video.

They see me mowin' my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so
White and nerdy

Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white and nerdy
Can't you see I'm white and nerdy
Look at me I'm white and nerdy

I wanna roll with the gangstas
But so far they all think I'm too
White and nerdy

And there's Weird Al, dressed up quite nerdy, extending his hand out to the gangsters in a convertible, who desperately try to lock the door and peel away quickly.

Hilarious indeed!

We watched the video several times together, laughing so hard that the other kids came in and joined us. We watched Another One Rides The Bus, a parody of "Another One Bites The Dust. "Hey kids," I said, "Do you want to see a video that I used to watch when I was in high school?"

"You mean Weird Al was around back then?" they replied, incredulous.

It was my turn to roll the eyes.

So we watched "Beat It." (The kids were amazed at how normal Michael Jackson looked back then!). Then we roared with laughter at Weird Al's "Eat It."

Yes, it would have been much better if the video was captioned on the internet. I'm just so glad that my kids can instantly look up lyrics. I'm glad that they have the ability to adapt the Ipod for use with their hearing aids.

And I'm very thankful for the incredible bonding moment that Weird Al brought us.

A Very Rare Photo-- Wash Hung Up to Dry

Look closely. Yup, your eyes are not deceiving you. Yes, there's snow on the ground. Someone hung the wash outside on a beautiful, sunny, wintery day.

My mom and my sister are down in Ste. Genevieve, Missouri visiting some relatives. Yup, those are the people that hung up that wash. Relatives of ours.

I grew up helping my mom hang out the wash several times a week. We had a working dryer in the basement, yet my mom chose to hang up the wash on sunny days. She had a system: sheets were hung on the outside lines, our unmentionables were hidden on the inside lines. I used to grumble about having to go outside, gather up the dry clothes and help her fold them. Little did I realize that I was getting my daily dose of Vitamin D and fresh air, a combination that does a body good.

A Weekend of Fun for Deaf and Hard of Hearing Kids

What a Saturday! West Suburban Association of the Deaf and Harper College ASL Club hosted a Holiday Party for 110 kids. Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus were there and gave out stocking stuffers from the WSAD/ASL clubs and frisbees donated by i711/GoAmerica. The kids had a blast jumping in a castle, making crafts, playing games and hitting pinatas. Hotdogs, pizza, salad and cookies were served non-stop. Judging from the smiles on the kids' faces, everyone was having a good time.

Later that night, the Seven Bridges Ice Arena hosted the Disabled Hockey Games, which included a team from the American Hearing Impaired Hockey Association. Somewhere in the blur of skaters, you will find Kurt Bernabei, a future Deaf Olympic hockey player. On another rink there was a sled hockey competition for hockey players with mobility disabilities.

I MacGyvered the Snowblower!

This morning, we woke up to several inches of snow. The kids excitedly jumped into their snowsuits at eight in the morning and began shoveling the driveway. When I arrived outside, I was amazed at how much snow covered our cul-de-sac.

The hubby tried to start the snowblower last night to no avail. I figured I would give it a try. The primer button was all cracked, but the electric starter roared to life. The machine just wouldn't start and get going. With no way to prime it, I couldn't get the gas moving through.

"What would MacGyver do?" I muttered to myself. For those of you with no clue, MacGyver was a show in the 1980's that featured Richard Dean Anderson as a special agent who used common objects to fight crime and get himself out of tight situations. Candy bars, paper clips, gum were some of the items he used, often with just seconds to spare before disaster would happen.

So I looked at the primer button and discovered that I needed to create some kind of suction or forced air to get the gas moving. The bicycle pump! I searched all over the garage but couldn't find it. My eyes settled on the leaf blower. Nah, too powerful. I looked at the primer button again. There was a hole as wide as the end of a paper clip. A straw, I thought to myself. I can blow through a straw...

On the way to the kitchen, I suddenly realized that I had the perfect tool to use on the primer: the hearing aid tube blower.

And sure enough, one squeeze of the bulb blower and the snowblower roared to life!

Are Restaurants Your Second Home?

I recently discovered Restaurant.com and it is a great site to get gift certificates for local restaurants at deep discounts. No gimmicks-- simply purchase a $25 gift certificate for $10 and head out to any of the many restaurants listed on the site. Click the link above for details on restaurants covered by this program.

Joe and I like to eat out often and this is a great way for us to sample different restaurants without paying full price.

Fortunately, Domo 77 is not one of the restaurants listed-- because I certainly won't be going back there: What Are We, Chopped Liver?

The Deaf Doc is In!

It's that time of the year when we get hit with the usual alphabet soup of winter ills: bronchitis, colds, flu and more. Dr. Carolyn Stern has a brand new medical website, DeafDOC, filled with information on a variety of health topics. Dr. Stern is a board certified family physician who practices in Rochester, New York. The unique aspect of this website: the information is given in American Sign Language as well as voiced and captioned.

I first met Dr. Stern when she practiced at Lutheran General in the Chicago area several years ago. I was filled with a lot of questions, such as how to hear a heartbeat (she uses an amplified stethoscope) and how to measure blood pressure (it can also be measured manually through the hands). At that time, I was learning how to become a doula and had the opportunity to attend several births, including a home waterbirth. I was toying with the idea of a career in the birthing field. Dr. Stern was an inspiration, as she was catching babies and serving entire families with her practice. As it turned out, I pursued early intervention instead and got involved with Hands & Voices.

Dr. Stern has a section on her website where you can Ask the Doc and get some feedback on your health concerns. She is also available as a speaker and a consultant.

Midwest Center for Law and the Deaf Fundraising Bash

On Thursday, November 22, the annual Midwest Center for Law and the Deaf fundraiser was held at Prairie Rock restaurant in Schaumburg. The Midwest Center for Law and the Deaf, or MCLD as it is known among Chicagoans, was created by Chicago attorney Howard Rosenblum. The non-profit organization:

--Trains and recruits attorneys to serve the unique needs of deaf and hard of hearing clients
--Educates deaf and hard of hearing people on their rights
--Trains interpreters on how to deal with the unique challenges of working within a courtroom or other legal settings
--Provides resources to families and friends of deaf and hard of hearing people
--Prepares law enforcement officers to effectively communicate with deaf and hard of hearing people
--Aids courts in ensuring full access to the justice system by deaf and hard of hearing parties, attorneys, witnesses, jurors, and spectators.

The annual fundraiser covers the cost of a part-time staff person and services offered by MCLD. Howard works tirelessly year after year to ensure that deaf and hard of hearing persons have access to legal representation. And, as Howard jokes, "so that deaf people can sue other deaf people."

So this year, if you're looking for a charitable contribution, the Midwest Center for Law and the Deaf is an organization worthy of donations.

Mom's Night Inn-- What a Blast!

The 2006 Mom's Night Inn hosted by Illinois Hands & Voices was held on Friday, November 17th and Saturday, November 18th. Thirty four moms of deaf and hard of hearing kids gathered together for a night of connecting, sharing and laughing.

We started off with introductions and then jumped right into an interactive presentation, "Taking a Trip Down Guilty Lane, How to Arrive in Paradise Instead." Motherhood and guilt, they go hand-in-hand. To ease any guilt that remained, we finished off the evening with massages, manicures, crafts and food.

After Saturday morning's breakfast, we sat back to listen to a group of panelist share their life's experiences. Ben Lachman, Erika Lohmiller, Tony Abou Ezzi and Carol Nemecek answered question after question from the moms and gave some great advice. The panelists had a varied background: Cued Speech, American Sign Language, spoken language and simultaneous communication.

The feedback from the moms echoed the same sentiment over and over: "It was so wonderful to connect with other moms of deaf and hard of hearing children."

And of course, everyone enjoyed the huge wicker basket filled with chocolate that we served non-stop throughout the event.

Check out the experience of Juliet Martinez, one of the moms who attended: I Just Needed a Slumber Party!

The Lions Club

This week, I was invited to attend a Batavia Lions Club meeting and introduce Illinois Hands & Voices to their members. The Lions provided a delicious dinner and an interpreter.

There were thirteen Lions in attendance, with the majority of them over the age of sixty. The Lions president, Todd McPencow, however was a young guy who fit right in and seemed very comfortable with his ability to lead. As I sat there watching the proceedings, I was struck by a sense of honor and commitment from the men in the room. The Lions Clubs are known for their fundraisers and support for people with vision and hearing loss. It is considered an high honor to be invited to join as a member of the Lions.

Each local Lions Club sends funds to the Lions of Illinois Foundation which runs the Camp Lions in three locations in Illinois. This year, Camp Lions of Illinois will be celebrating their 50th year of camp. With 700 Lions Clubs around Illinois, the fundraising covers the cost of camp for every camper; each camper is required to bring just $15 to spend at the camp store and cover the cost of a camp group picture.

I worked as a camp counselor back in my college days and I have fond memories of camp. My kids have attended Camp Lions for two years in a row, and it continues to be one of the activities that they talk about the most throughout the year. At Camp Lions, it doesn't matter whether you sign, speak or cue-- the most important thing is fun.


The Lions have always been a generous group, including the Bolingbrook Lions Club which provided hearing aids for my family one year and a laptop for our local deaf club, West Suburban Association of the Deaf.

After I shared information about Illinois Hands & Voices and Hands & Voices National, the Batavia Lions concluded the meeting with a very generous donation.

To all of the Lions who work tirelessly to help the communities they serve, thank you.

Chicago Hearing Society Celebrates 90 Years

Chicago Hearing Society hosted a 90th Anniversary celebration on November 9, 2006. Chicago Hearing Society has a special place in my heart because I did my graduate internship in the Social Services and Counseling department almost twenty years ago. It was there that I met Ed Hudson and we had lunch together nearly every day. Ed died in a plane crash several years ago, but when I look back at my time at CHS-- I always remember Ed.

I. King Jordan was scheduled as the keynote speaker, but due to the events at Gallaudet, he was not able to attend. Instead, Bill Graham, one of the founders of the Association for Late-Deafened Adults filled in. I first met Bill back in the early 90's, when I attended one of the first ALDA conventions in Chicago. I've always enjoyed his wry humor and his wonderful way with words.

Chicago Hearing Society put together a slide show covering 90 years of its history. The early pictures showed a group of deaf, hard of hearing and hearing persons gathered in a room. The vision back then was simple: to provide a social connection and a goal of working together to improve the lives of deaf and hard of hearing persons. That goal is still alive today, with CHS providing a variety of services to every segment of the deaf and hard of hearing population.

One person who simply doesn't get enough KUDOs is June Prusak. June is the Youth Coordinator at CHS and she has tirelessly planned events for deaf and hard of hearing kids all over Chicagoland. Someday, the kids she serves will be pushing her wheelchair and June will still be leading them with a smile.

Howard Rosenblum-- Chicago's famous deaf attorney

Karen and Bill Graham










CHS Volunteers

Lowell Myers-- A Lawyer Who Inspired Another

Lowell Myers, a deaf attorney who practiced in the Chicago area for years, has passed away. Myers was known for handling a case for Donald Lang, a deaf man with minimal language skills who was accused of murder. The case was later chronicled in the 1979 made-for-TV movie titled, "Dummy."

His obituary can be accessed here: Lowell J. Myers.
Chicago is home to another deaf attorney, Howard Rosenblum, who credits Myers as his inspiration to become a lawyer as well.

"Lowell Myers was a pioneer," says Howard. "He became an accountant AND a lawyer at a time when many deaf people were unable to overcome barriers to education. Mr. Myers just did not see barriers, only opportunities. Even when the Dean of John Marshall Law School told him that he could not be a lawyer because of his deafness, he did not see a barrier. Mr. Myers simply convinced the Dean to give him a chance. Not only did he graduate from law school, but he did so well that he was among the top students in the school. He did this without interpreters or any other kind of accommodation. He worked as a lawyer for many years without the benefit of the ADA or other disability rights laws. Mr. Myers just did not let such barriers stop him.

Mr. Myers also helped others see opportunities. When he came to speak about his experiences as a lawyer at an event in 1978, a twelve-year-old deaf boy saw the same opportunity that Mr. Myers saw for himself. That boy was me, and thanks to Mr. Myers, I became a lawyer 14 years later. Lowell Myers, wherever you are now, thank you for being an inspiration."

Howard works for Equip for Equality in Chicago and runs the Midwest Center for Law and the Deaf.

When the Kids Grab the Camera...

I was going through the photo files this morning in an effort to weed out some bad photos and back everything up with a new external hard drive we recently purchased. After wading through a couple of thousand photographs, I discovered that the kids had grabbed the camera and played around with it.

It's a little late for Halloween, but they came up with some good ones:

Ten Hearing Aids-- Never a Dull Moment

Psssst.

Come here.

Want a hot stock tip?

Invest in a battery company.



In my household, we have to keep track of ten hearing aids. The hubby and I have four, and the three kids have six hearing aids. We have an entire kitchen drawer that is devoted to packs of batteries and extra tubes. The drawers are littered with the little orange tabs that are stuck to each battery. Try as I might, I haven't been able to successfully train my kids to walk over to the garbage can (which is right across from the very kitchen drawer I spoke of) and dispose of the sticky orange tab. Instead, the drawer organizer and the cardboard packages are decorated in a random orange pattern.

One day, I took the hubby's car and on my way to a presentation, a battery went out. I changed the battery and stuck the little orange tab on the front of the steering wheel, intending to toss it when I arrived home. I promptly forgot about it until the next time I got in the car a few days later. The bright orange tab was still stuck to the middle of the steering wheel. Apparently the entire family suffers from "Orange Tab Disorder."

Despite their inability to locate garbage cans, the kids have managed to keep track of their hearing aids pretty well. Occasionally, we do have to play "Hunt for the Hearing Aid" around our house. My husband is especially good at initiating this game, for he frequently takes off one hearing aid and forgets just where he put it. This wouldn't be a problem if I kept an immaculate house, but I tend to favor piles of books and papers in random places, so we're often sifting through things around the house to try and locate a hearing aid.

With the addition of our puppy in January, we've had to be more vigilant about keeping hearing aids out of Kaycie's reach. This past summer, I was giving David a haircut outside and he placed his hearing aids on the patio steps. He went inside to take a shower and came out looking for his hearing aids. I had let Kaycie outside, not knowing that his hearing aids were out there. You guessed it-- we found Kaycie outside munching on an earmold. The hearing aids were nowhere to be seen. We located both earmolds, torn to shreds. After hauling everyone outside to join in the hunting game, we located both hearing aids. Despite a nice bite mark on one of them, they both were in working condition. This is the same kid who jumped into the lake with one hearing aid on during the previous summer. The hubby also had a lake adventure with his hearing aid: he had placed his hearing aid on a towel in the boat and accidently flung it overboard. I was able to locate the hearing aid with a scuba mask a few hours later. Today's hearing aids seem to have nine lives, as we were able to bring them all back with a Dry-Aid kit.

With ten hearing aids to keep track of, it's a miracle that we've only lost one of them. My daughter Lauren was at the library one day (this was when she was 9) and her battery went out. She didn't have a back-up battery with her, so she took off her hearing aid and put it in her sweatshirt pocket. While she was waiting for Daddy to check out the books, she decided to do some gymnastic maneuvers on the floor. When she arrived home, the hearing aid was gone. We scoured the library and the parking lot, but the hearing aid with the bright blue earmold, was never found.

When David was three, I noticed that his hearing aid was missing. We were playing outside, so we figured the hearing aid had to be out in the backyard. Joe and I started searching through the grass. We must have looked pretty comical pacing up and down the backyard trying to locate a tiny hearing aid with a tiny earmold. Soon, the neighbors joined in and we covered every inch of the yard, continuing the search into the night with flashlights. We finally gave up the search two days later and had to order another aid. Many months later, we discovered the hearing aid in the bottom of a wicker toy hamper that had never been emptied.

Five people, ten hearing aids and an earmold-loving dog-- never a dull moment in this household.

Are You a Bluffer?

Have you ever been caught in a conversation where you weren't sure what was going on yet you nodded along, laughed along or excused yourself to head to the bathroom?

Social bluffing. Everyone does it, my neighbors with hearing in the normal range have shared with me. "I'll be at a party," says my neighbor Denise, "and I'll miss something that's being said or my mind is elsewhere and I'll just nod along with the conversation."

Social bluffing is pretending to hear or understand something that is being said, and behaving in a way that shows you understand, even when you have little or no clue as to what is being said. I grew up hard of hearing and it was physically impossible for me to participate in group conversations with school friends, so I learned quickly to bluff my way through conversations just to get through the day.

I can remember this skill emerging back in second grade, when a group of us gathered around the teacher to read about "Curious George." The teacher called on me, but I was so enthralled with the pictures of the monkey and the man in the yellow hat, that I had no idea of the monkey's name or just what the story was about. So I nodded along with the teacher's question and apparently it satisfied her because she kept on reading and calling on others.

I continued to bluff my way through school and in high school, I met another student who also had hearing aids. Shawn and I became fast friends in high school. During our senior year, the high school newspaper published a story on us. More than one student came up to us that day and said, "I didn't know you guys had a hearing loss!" We had bluffed our way through so many situations that others around us didn't realize how much we actually missed.

When I transferred to Northern Illinios University in college, I had become deaf just a few weeks before. As I gradually learned to sign, I found myself using the same bluffing skills in an effort to fit in. I nodded along, pretending to understand someone's signing while desperately trying to soak up the meanings of all the signs. It didn't take me long to figure out that I couldn't bluff with my deaf and hard of hearing friends, and I didn't have to. Once I became proficient, for the first time in my life, I was able to experience full access to a group conversation. Parties took on a whole new meaning. In high school, I would avoid parties and group gatherings, but with my new deaf and hard of hearing friends, I couldn't wait for the next one.

It took a long time to acknowledge a lifetime of bluffing and change the way I access communication. As Lenny Kepil says, "It's a survival skill." I often employ communication strategies and occasionally ask people to write things down. Communication is a two-way street and today, I'm much more assertive in making sure that communication happens the way I need it to.

Gallaudet-- The Board Votes

Gallaudet University's Board of Trustees met on October 29 and voted to terminate the selection of Dr. Jane Fernandes as president.

Perhaps now Gallaudet can get back to the business of educating students. But sadly, the weeks of mudslinging has left Gallaudet with a host of issues that will need to be addressed before any true progress can be made.


The next president is going to have to be one heck of man/woman with an iron heart (to deal with all the stress) and be someone who is going to be able to handle the laundry list of issues that have been showing up in blogs/vlogs around the internet.

Hopefully the next president will be one that embraces every student who attends Gallaudet, regardless of communication ability, use of technology or amount of hearing.

Only then, can true unity begin.







Photo courtesy of Maureen Conroy / Daily Nexus

Gallaudet-- Chicago Tribune Article

This morning, a friend sent me the link to Listening to the deaf [this is the exact way the title appears on the page] by Clarence Page. It was printed in the Chicago Tribune yesterday and it shows a large picture of smiling protesters and a smaller portrait of Jane Fernandes.

Found a Rather Interesting Thing Outside

As I walked down the driveway to get the mail the other day, I did a double-take:

No, that's not an X-rated picture. It is a pair of mushrooms growing in my yard. Mother Nature has a great sense of humor!

Another Kid, Another Birthday

Eleven years ago, I was hooked up to pitocin and laboring away with my second child. My first child, David, was born via cesarean and I was hoping for a VBAC (vagnal birth after cesarean). I had labored all day and all night. The doc came in at four in the morning and tried a couple of tricks, but nothing worked.

Lauren was born via cesarean and after my husband said, "It's a girl," that was the last thing I remembered. Despite my birth plan of staying awake and not being tied down, the anesthesiologist refused to allow one hand free and he ended up drugging me through the rest of the surgery. I woke up in recovery two hours later shivering, breaking out in hives from the epidural and feeling terrible. What should have been a joyous time with a new daughter got off to a rocky start.

It became even rockier for several months-- what was diagnosed as the "baby blues" was actually post-partum depression. You can read more here: What You Need To Know About Post-Partum Depression.

Thanks to a VBAC support group, I was able to work through my feelings and enjoy my baby daughter. Today, Lauren is celebrating her eleventh birthday. She's a girl after her mother's heart-- a budding writer and a lover of books. She recently taught herself to knit and has discovered volleyball, a sport that I played for many years.

Lauren was born with hearing in the normal range and when she was four, she became sick with a high fever and ended up with a moderate-to-severe hearing loss at the same time her two-year-old brother, Steven did. For Lauren, this was a hard blow. She quickly became frustrated because she couldn't hear her friends on the phone. There was a long period of adjustment, but today, she's a happy kid who learned to use the phone again (love that Captel!) and regularly runs up the phone bill yakking with her friends. She loves email and IM, and uses the videophone to chat with her deaf and hard of hearing friends.

So Happy Birthday to my Pumpkin!

SIGNews--A Newspaper Worth Reading

I discovered SIGNews by accident one day after doing some heavy internet surfing. Browsing the site, I saw a link for a free issue and I promptly signed up for it. After receiving the first issue, I quickly sent in a check for a subscription and I've been enjoying it ever since.

SIGNews has a writing style that is similar to the Deaf Success magazine that ran a few years back but discontinued publishing after the first few issues. In every issue, you will find inspirational stories of deaf and hard of hearing persons in many different kinds of jobs. The current issue features nurses who are deaf.

SIGNews is a publication of CSD (Communication Service for the Deaf) based in South Dakota. While the focus is on those who use American Sign Language, I have found the newspaper to cover a wide variety of communication styles, including a recent article covering a conference for those who use Cued Speech.

Construction Worker Gets An Eyeful

I had lunch with my friend Mary recently. Mary grew up hard of hearing and became deaf as an adult. She is one of the early founders of ALDA--the Association of Late-Deafened Adults.

Mary lives in a beautiful old home that was undergoing some restoration by a company that they've used for several years. One early afternoon, the crew took a break for lunch and Mary decided to take a shower. She looked out the window and saw that all of the trucks were gone, so she figured she was alone in the house. Since it was a short distance from her room to the hall shower, she stripped buck naked, grabbed her clean clothes and headed off to the bathroom.


She came face to face with a lone construction worker who stayed behind to finish up some work.

Startled and red-faced, she continued her short run to the shower.

Fortunately, Mary has a great sense of humor and was able to look back at this and have a good laugh.

As for the construction worker, he probably had a smile on his face the rest of the day.

Gallaudet--On The Outside, Looking In

A fellow writer from Epinions recently sent me an email asking "Do you know why the students oppose the new president so fiercely?"

I was in a hurry and quickly replied, "Protesters don't like Jane-- they say she can't lead, that she's cold and that she's "not deaf enough"(even when it is denied, this comes up). They're also saying that the search process was flawed and racist (many felt that a person of color should have been one of the finalists) and that Jane was hand-picked by the current president."

In a nutshell, that's what I've gathered from a couple of months of reading blogs.

In 1988, the protest back then was about selecting a president who had one thing in common with the students, faculty and alumni: the absense of hearing in the normal range. When Jordan was selected, it seemed that many gathered together to celebrate and a sense of unity developed from the "Deaf President Now" movement. As a result of that movement, many deaf and hard of hearing students from all over decided to enroll in Gallaudet and some of them were students who would have never considered Gallaudet before the protest.

Many people like my friend from Epinions are expressing confusion at the selection of the first female president who has an impressive resume and happens to have a hearing loss. Mike McConnell recently posted Not Deaf Enough--What The World Sees on his blog and his post echoes the feedback that I'm getting from others on the outside.

One of the major differences between the two protests is that anyone off the streets has the ability to blog and post things on websites. The internet is now one huge information source, including vast amounts of gossip and postings that amount to slander. It is difficult to sort through factual information and the stuff that should appear in National Enquirer instead.

What started off as a complaint about a flawed search process has turned into a protest that has a list of issues that are popping up all over and it all has me wondering-- is Gallaudet going to be a place that my three deaf and hard of hearing kids are going to consider? Will Gallaudet be a place of diversity that embraces every deaf and hard of hearing student that wants to attend there?

We'll have to wait and see.

Jordan Cancels "Talk of the Nation" Broadcast

I. King Jordan has been involved with Gallaudet University for forty years and I'm saddened to see the turn of events as he prepares to leave Gallaudet. I have found him to be a wonderful leader who has done a lot for Gallaudet. I recall meeting him for the first time during a visit to campus and he graciously made time to talk with a group of us who were Deaf Services Coordinators from all over.

He was scheduled to be involved with "Talk of the Nation," but canceled due to the escalating protest on campus. A transcript of today's talk can be found here: Talk of the Nation.

I hope that Gallaudet students, staff and alumni can work together to restore peace at Gallaudet soon.

Out of Puppyhood-- Into Adulthood

Early in January this year, we brought home a new family member. On October 6, Kaycie, our West Highland White Terrier celebrated her first birthday. The little puppy is now a full-fledged, potty-trained adult.

There were days when I thought the potty-training would last forever. This was pretty much the same feeling that I had with all of my kids. At least with kids, you can put on diapers and protect the stuff around the house. Puppies like to decorate white carpet with yellow puddles. Kaycie was especially fond of making nice little circles under the dining room table whenever one of the kids left a gate open.

Kaycie joined our family in the middle of winter, which meant several trips outside during very cold weather. The little bugger was smart. She would wait until I gave up on her and we'd head inside. As soon as no one was looking, she would deposit a brown gift on one of the rugs. She eventually learned that she could make the family members very happy if she squatted outside instead and was quickly awarded a treat.

Kaycie amused herself one day by unrolling the toilet paper in the bathroom. She took great delight in rolling around in it. For a couple of months after that, we had to store the rolls on the counter. After a party one day, we discovered that she no longer messed with the toilet paper. Around the same time, we realized that she had stopped decorating the carpet and left the rugs alone. Apparently the mischievous puppy grew up.


Kaycie was quite the escape artist and loved to take off running. We had a close call one day when she headed for a busy road near our house. She was just a few months old and wouldn't respond to the "come" command. As she neared the busy road, I felt my heart leap and I started to scream. Each time I came near her, she would run away. I tried to run away from her to entice her to follow, but she kept edging closer to the road. Cars were zipping by. I continued to scream, and the neighbors came out and tried to help. Fortunately, one little neighbor girl called out to Kaycie and she came running right to her, jumping all over. Someone else grabbed Kaycie and right at that very moment, I was reminded how much I truly loved the bundle of fur.

Wasting Life Away?

My cousin sent me the following:
(read through it, I've got some thoughts at the end!)


The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk non-stop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.

I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.


She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

************************************************************************
Whether or not this little ditty is true or the stuff of urband legends, it sends a valuable message to us all. I hear the same thing over and over from friends who are in their 40's and 50's: "If I start a new path in life, I'm gonna be too old and who wants to hire an old, deaf/hard of hearing person for a job?" I've encountered frustrations with job hunting and I know there have been some situations where discrimination probably happened, but I sure as heck hope that I never stop living and allow my life to waste away.

I want to be like my Grandma Griffard who kept herself busy until the day she passed away at 91. My mom is more fit in her 70's than she was at my age. My father is 82 years old and still works on a farm. Just a couple of a weeks ago, we were taking my boat out of the lake and he was able to crank that baby on to the trailer as if he was twenty-five. And there I was behind the boat, huffing and puffing away. Go figure.

So, my dream is to live a life of lots of adventure and few regrets. Meanwhile, I'm digging into a brand new box of Fannie May. Want some?

Socialization and Deaf/hard of hearing kids

Last Friday, our school district participated in an Advocacy Day at a local high school. Deaf and hard of hearing students from several districts came together for a field trip to learn how to advocate for themselves and their communication needs. A football coach at a private high school shared his experience of being hard of hearing and handling communication issues in his daily life. In our district, my son was the only one to attend this event.

So this all has me wondering about deaf and hard of hearing adults today--did many of you have contact with other deaf and hard of hearing kids when you were younger? What do you wish your parents had done differently?